In case there was ANY question... Part deux

It has been well docuemented, dear reader, that I am insane, LITERALLY. I often wonder myself, if in fact, I have hit rock bottom. I am often surprised when I find I can go a little bit farther into the abyss of insanity.. I am sure you are aware that The very HOT Mr Nic Cester can send me into a Jizz-a-thon merely from his rythmic question, Are you going to be my girl.. I am sure you are also aware that the thought of Mr Cester's tongue in my mouth makes me black out from time to time.. (sorry Vic.. He is on the list!) I have yet again surprised myself. I don't believe I can raise the $85,000 in time to have Jet perform at my private function, so I decided to try a different tactic.. I will get Nic to come after me!! Here is my plan... I purchased the web address ... www.niccester.com .... I pointed it at this very page!! So, when Nic trolls around the internet.. He might find himself on this site.. Now, in my fantasy he will either (a) want to buy the address from me.. and I will GIVE it to him for a make out session.. or (b) he will see my pic on the site and fall in complete love with me.. I kinda like (b).. but I will settle for (a) .. Nic, my darling.. just say the word.. and I am yours!

Never happy

On Friday, I sat down with my manager and we went over my annual review. He is new to the department and his "take" on me is really unbiased.. he hasn't known me forever.. and he could really take a look at my impact on the office and what I could do without knowing all my history..
He started the meeting with numbers.. How I stacked up based purely on my stats.
(Just for the record, I hate numbers. It doesn't show the whole picture at all. All it shows is that you are a robot and able to keep up with the mans quota.. ) needless to say, I met everything .. I didn't exceed.. but I met.
He next went into what every manager I have ever had says.. "YOU ARE BEING WASTED.. YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND BRIGHT.. AND FULL OF LIFE.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? " I wonder at what point I will actually listen and do what I was intended to do.. I think it is a huge risk to jump out of my comfort zone and be happy.. But then I look at that little itty bitty face.. little Jilly and realize you only have one life.. and why in the world am I wasting it? Bollywood here I come!

Come on.. The hat needs NO explanation! One question.. Does it come in Mongo size?

The unbearable lightness of being....

Most people I know think I am crazy. I often don't REALLY talk to people, because they can't really understand what is important to me. I am consumed with the idea of death.. and life.. and the fragile nature of it all.. For this very reason, I want so much for little Jillian to have the best possible life.. one filled with love and family.. The two most important things.. PERIOD. She will undoubtedly have EVERYTHING she needs.. Her dad is a rocket scientist, for chrissake.. But I am happy to be able to give her my time and love.. I just hope my friggen sister will unblock my number from her call blocking.. You can't avoid me for ever!! HAA HAA!

Dreams

When I was 16, I dated a fellow who was 24 (thanks MOM!) ..
On our first Valentines day together (Overall there were 5..) He rented an Officer and a Gentleman... I guess he wanted to impress the ladies (me) with his ability to endure a chick flick for the sake of romance.. I remember like it was yesterday, I was wearing the latest Contempo Casual semi-slutty, semi-respectable red "number" .. and we ate Chinese food in front of the tube. (heavy sigh) Little did I know, how much this night would change my life.. It wasn't really who I was with .. but what we did. Now don't get me wrong, Felix was a hot little monkey.. I mean, dear reader, I was 16.. and he was 24.. I was a blossoming flower.. and he had a high powered weed whacker!!! (sigh) ANYWAYS ....That night.. for the first time, I saw THE best movie EVER made.. Without question. I have wanted, since that day, to get a job in a bag factory.. and have a Richard Gere type fellow save me.. Where in this damn valley can a girl find a factory job.. I want to travel and meet interesting people.. ! (sorry I quote the movie sometimes)

Montage 2 -various memories to share

Yes, that tongue is mine! Don't you dig the Holly Hobby shirt?

This is my first known performance.. Note Granny in the back clapping.. I am a natural!

I JUST noticed that in both these pictures, I am in the midst of falling.. Is this predicting the future, or what?

Look at that smile! My sister totally had the "look" before Paris Hilton was even born!!

Me marrying Jesus.. Don't you dig the veil??

Photo Montage 1

You know dear reader.. You have been quite faithful and understanding when I was unable to provide you with a daily dose of Meghan..So, I thought you deserve a little treat. My history. It actually started because Lisa and I were talking today about a rather pivitol experience of mine.. One that, eventhough I was like 4, I remember to this day.. as if it happened yesterday. I thought it would be interesting to share THAT story with you.. Perhaps making us grow closer.. (me and you, dear reader) but I was unable to find the supporting picture.. and without the photo, I don't think you can grasp the magnitude of my experience.. you wouldn't really be able to fully understand my plight.. (heavy sigh) .. So, I decided to pull out a few photos that were my favorite.. and share them with you.. Hopefully this will tide you over until I am able to locate the missing photo and share the REAL history..

My breathtaking ma and me stunning pa

In case there was ANY question...

Yes, I am insane. Completely and undeniably insane! I finally got my DSL working last night... The ethernet had got deactivated some how.. don't ask me how, I have NO clue.. I just know I clicked something and it started working.. I REALLY didn't want to call India.. "Hello, This is Chad. May I call you Miss Meghan? " (Inside joke) Anyway, it had been a LONG time since I surfed the net.. I don't really do a whole lot of it.. I am not a geek or anything, but I did go to a few search engines and wanted to peek at a few things.. First, I wanted to check out the 411 on Ralf Fiennes.. Totally in love with him. Just saw the constant gardner .. and he FLOATS MY BOAT.. I think he might be taking Chris Isaak's spot on the list of 5... Found some really HOT pics of Ralph.. and found out he is single.. (score) Then, because I am a nerd, I started trolling around for information on Nic Cester. I like to think that I am in the loop.. You know find out some juicy dirt.. anyways.. I am not sure how I got to this site, but it was some Australian firm that was advertising Jet for corporate events.. huh? wait, I could rent Nic Cester for the right price.. HELLO! I am there! There was a little application about what my event was .. and when it was.. I put 04-24-06 .. special event.. MY BIRTHDAY of course!!It asked what my budget would be.. I didn't want to be cheap.. So, I looked in the old wallet and I had $2.00 .. hmm.. that might be a little low, So, I rounded up and said $85,000.00 ..
I would literally D-I-E if I got an email saying that Jet would be available for my function. I mean .. that would mean that Nic was told about my special event..And he agreed to appear. That alone gets me all mental.. I might have to start fundraising now.. hmm.. Technically, I already have $2, so I only need $79,998..right? SAVE the DATE 04-24-06 .. Its gonna be a party!

Yet another revelation...

I personally believe that my mistakes can maybe save another from the same road.. Something about a fork and taking the road less traveled or something.. Anyway, I am a freak about smelling good.. I LOVE perfume.. and sweet smelling shampoo .. Jeesh, even my lipstick smells like coffee.. (yummmmmmm) I was horrified.. and I admit a little embarrassed, that I happen to be rubbing the ol' tum while waiting for my coffee to brew.. Here, let me set the scene.. Me standing in the kitchen.. one hand on my head .. and the other inching my sweatshirt up.. to expose my tum.. so I can rub it a little. For some reason, My finger traveled to the button.. and I proceded to rub it, too.. For yet another unknown reason, I brought my finger, the one that was just in the button, up to my nose.. I literally coughed.. and was amazed at the utter stank funkiness that waifed off my pointer. There must be some mistake I thought.. maybe I inadvertantly picked up some rotting carcass prior to my belly rub.. so, I sent the other pointer on a mission.. I took a preliminary sniff.. smells good.. and then sent it to the war zone.. As I inserted the finger, I twisted it in the button a bit to get any unsavory smells that could be lying about...I slowly lifted the finger to my eager nose.. and was met with.. well, the smell of death. How could I have missed this important hole. I take pride in smelling yummy.. yet my button could be confused with deteiorating flesh???? I immediately brought the finger to Vic.. and sweetly asked him to tell me what my finger smelled like. I didn't share with him where it had been..(tee hee) as soon as he smelled it, he grimaced and said DEATH! woe is me.. (heavy sigh) The point of my story today is to prevent you, dear reader, from experiencing the same fate.. WASH THE BUTTON!!!

Is it possible?

I am the mother of a 28 year old!! Well actually, only bigger dogs are the 7 years for every human year.. smaller dogs are only 5.. wait, 5? let me do the math here.. (dang I had to use my fingers and my toes!!) 20???? agh
My dear Chino is 4 years old today.. We had cake, well.. dog cake.. and only Chino had some.. and we visited grandma, who is home now. It was a good day.

She isn't quite ready.

I am terrified of death.. Pure and simple.
Not to mention the idea that someone I love would die. As a child, I would pray that God would take me first so that I would not have to experience the grief.
My dear grandmother is in the hospital today.. They ran tests, but they can't figure out what is wrong. I am the person I am today because of her.. and I am not done with her. Please wait, Grandpa. You have eternity.. and I need her a little bit longer.

I am a loser, I know. But we make a hot couple,huh?

Here, yet again.. more ranting about Nic Cester.
It might be sweet if I was a teenager.. But as a 32 year old woman its getting kinda creepy.
I am just totally obsessing over him lately.
Check this out, I found out that he is dating/or dated this model who has brown hair and brown eyes.. I was all excited.. This leads me to believe he could be totally into me. Me? Hello? Meghan...?? Are you forgetting something.. That day 2.5 years ago when you said I do??
But then I quickly think that I wouldn't want to run away with him or anything.. Just make out with him for awhile.Am I crazy? You know what I think it is? He kinda sorta looks like my first love, Rick Silvestri... That love was unrequited.. and It must be creating this weird hot monkey lust I have for Nic.. (heavy sigh) would anyone happen to have Nic's number?

I am here for the tour.. No really, just the tour.

Isabella

I absolutely LOVE on demand.. I can pick a show and watch it whenever.. (Do I sound like a commercial??) Vic happen to be working today... and I was all by my lonesome.. I came upon this hip new reality show, Cathouse.. It kinda BLOWS Survivor out of the water..(literally!)
It shows you exactly what happens at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Its really kind of weird, because most of the girls look like run of the mill girls.. Hardly any MAN MADE girls, if you get my drift. My favorite girl was Isabella.. She tended to be the one choosen as the girl next door.. hmm.. What neighborhood is she livin in?? Looking at her, I totally understand the whole lesbian thing!!

Did I black out, again?

Chick who is trying to steal my identity

Have you ever googled yourself? My sister recommended that I do it to see if there was some scandolous dirt traveling the internet highway about me.. I was excited.. What trashy stories had google dug up on me.... That time I met the fleet when I was 17? or maybe they found out about the time I applied to be a 976 operator.. (what????? they make GOOD money!!!)

Surprise! Surprise!

There is another chick trying to steal my identity. There is only room for one MEG DOE damn it !!! When I was a kid, my mom assured me that there was no one just like me.. I believed her, too. I mean what are the chances that not only someone else would have the last name Doe, but that they would be named Meghan..WITH AN 'H'??? Maybe it is me.. Maybe the MIL (mother in law) is putting weird stuff in the water.. Maybe, I am blacking out again and this person (pictured above) is in fact me.. I could totally attend Michigan State University.. and be a respected member of the softball team.. (I vaguely remember playing 2nd base in school.. wait ..maybe it was that I went to second base..??)everything is a blur... Its all getting fuzzy.....

The art of dealing with a married lady

Most married ladies are in this trance.. They believe that their sexuality has been locked away and can only be released by the man who slid the slightly tarnished ring on her finger.. I am here to say .. out loud and proud. I got married, not buried.. (WHo knew that I would be quoting Three's Company!!) It is nice every once and a while to get positive ego strokes from members of the opposite sex.. Now, I am not talking about literal strokes here!! Fellas!!! Behave!!! (ok.. maybe literal for one special man/friend.. :) ) (I kid, I kid ) (or do I) .. AGH... Anyways, saying someone is a hot beyotch every now and again never hurt nobody! And even if a girl is married, it doesn't give you the right to treat her like a dude and share all your opinions about the other babes. Married chicks still like to think that they are the hottest thing this side of the equator.. (Noone can out sizzle those damn Brazilians.. they are hot beyotches!!!)

I try so hard...

my bling bling

Well, dear reader.. I have been foiled yet again.. With the departure of Brian Ching.. I have tried to immerse myself in anything and everything Hawaiian .. Taking me ma to the islands for her 60th.. Possibly getting a Tatt of a plumeria on my white arse.. And then I happen to pop on the net and I found for a mere $135.00, I could be the proud owner of a Palomo Picasso SURFER bracelet (see photo WAY below).. You may not know this, but when Brian was on the injured reserve.. He returned to his native Hawaii to recuperate.. While there, he regained his strength .. by doing what you ask?? SURFING! I am certainly not crazy enough to paint a wetsuit on this HOT body.. and venture out into the shark infested waters.. so, I planned on doing the next best thing.. ACCESSORIZE surfer style!! I decided that this is what I would ask for from grumpy St Vic. Well, Vic, as usual, waited till the last minute to do his Christmas shopping ..And they had nothing left in the stores.. (imagine that, at 5pm on 12-24) He had to order my surfer bracelet on line.. I was SO excited.. I patiently waited while Tiffanys flew out my bracelet from Parsippany, NJ.. via UPS. I monitored its progress via the web.. I tracked it like a modern day hunter.. minus all the blood and guts.. When it finally came, I opened the box and the wrapping alone made me smile.. I have arrived I thought.. Then, when I pulled the bracelet from the little BLUE box.. (yipee) I was less then impressed.. It was in fact a rubber bracelet.. It does make sense when you are literally hanging ten to have waterproof jewelry .. but hello? I wasn't too concerned about that. Palomo obviously took after her pa.. you know, kinda sorta looks like a chick in his paintings.. if you squint and look away real fast??? Well, this WAS a bracelet.. but not at all what I expected!!! heavy sigh.
So...Today, I ventured to the mall.. (blech I hate the mall).. the Gods were with me because I found a parking spot right in front of the entrance to Tiffanys.. (what are the chances of that, seriously?) I spotted my game.. locked my sites on it.. and bagged it.. OOH LA LA..
I guess I am too elegant to be a beach bum.. oh well.When I got it home, I noticed the itty bitty bitty bitty charm wasn't even big enough to fit Tif..BUT, I still LOVE IT!
cheerio my pets.

Doesn't anyone listen to the flight attendant anymore?

For anyone who has flown the friendly skies the "talk" about cabin decompression.. and how the seats can be used as a floatation device is old news...second nature.. So, rather then listen to the perky attendant, most people use the time to cram the "carry on" bag under the seat .. or scan the crowd for potential sneaker terrorists.. It really seems that this mentality has permiated every facet of daily life. People don't take the time to possibly learn about the oxygen masks and how they will magically fall from the ceiling.. It really seems like no one cares at all...I think the day has come.. This first day of this fabulous year, to go over what you would think every human being should KNOW.... Now, don't look around at your neighbors!!! Attention .. Lesson one is about to begin!!!

FOCUS..

Did you know that sending a text message is literally like going to a pay phone and PAYING to talk to you.. Every time a message is sent, money is being spent... You would think the receipient would have the common decency to respond. Even if predictive text is on .. and you have no idea how to get it to work.. a message that means nothing, is better then no message at all.. right? And this message is unfortunately not intended for just one of my dear readers.. BUT a great many!!! Most of you know I have a fragile ego!! I must be stroked!
I am not going to even get into my dear friends who haven't made the leap .. and still remain cell-less. (What if I have a pressing issue and need to talk to you??? ) (sigh)