Where the heck is Ghana, anyways?????

What a complete let down.
Ghana smacked our ass!!! Beat us like the bitches we are.. And knocked us clear out of the World Cup.
In my humble opinion, it is because the MO FO Coach, Bruce Arena, didn't play Brian Ching.
Who is Brian Ching, you ask? He is only our Hawaiian secret weapon... A Superman if you will .
Shame on you Bruce.. It is your fault.. BOOOO!!

A boy band?? Are you insane!!!!!

I love me a man in uniform!

Khris & Jillian

This time, it is a little different.. My dear sweet brother joined the Army! He is off to basic training this week.. and I want everyone of my readers to say a prayer for him.. that he does his best and stays safe.. I might be taking a collection soon to send him some body armor.. maybe I could email that MO FO Bush.. and he could throw the kid some gear.. hmph.. Anyways..

GOOD LUCK KHRIS!

WE LOVE YOU!

Surprise!

Mocha Latte' Jet Almeida

I had a baby! A beautiful baby boy.. Thats why I have been so out of it, dear reader! He has been taking all my time and energy.. Totally love him.. LOVE LOVE LOVE... More news to follow.. with the official announcement and everything ..soon soon soon.. I will sneak you a peak... shhhhhhh!

We are still in it!

Eventhough, the United States has not scored in World Cup yet.... I will accept the 1-1 win.. Own goal and all..

..on to Ghana!

We MUST beat Ghana and Italy MUST beat the Czecks .. Then we are headed for Brazil.. UGH!

my neurosis continues...

I saw this special on A&E.. about this chick who thought that the President was after her.. and she was hell bent on talking to him.. Apparently, she was skitso.. The doctor said that a clear sign of this disorder was a strong desire to write letters.. to anyone and everyone about anything and everything..

hmm.

Here is my LATEST letter..

Scott,
I have to be honest..In the beginning, I felt bad for you.It seemed like the world was against you .. and your world was crashing around you... No one believed you and you were presumed guilty before your trial.I felt this way because I personally have a hard time believing that someone could possibly be so evil... How could someone have no heart and no soul.After watching much of the trial, I still wasn't convinced. How could someone take a life(two lives really) and destroy an entire family?I recently read For Laci and things changed.If ½ of what Sharon wrote was true.. My perception of people and this world has been drastically altered.Based on the way your parents are and the way they raised you, it is now very clear that evil does exist and it is alive and well (?) in San Quentin Prison. How are you able to sleep at night knowing the destruction you alone have caused? I am not a freaky religious person, but I do believe that life is a precious gift .. and you decided to rip that away from your wife.. your child.. and her family. How dare you Scott Peterson. How dare you.
Sincerely,
(insert name here)

I is a kewl bitch,eh?

Hey bitches. I scooped People. They paid like $4million for these photos.. and the mooster got em for ya first.. LONG LIVE THE MOOSTER!

UGH

I had the WORST expereince today. THE worst.
I went to the podiatrist to have my nail-less toe looked at. It still kind of hurt.. and I needed it to be tended to.
When the "doctor" examined me.. she said I had 2 options.

1. We could leave it alone..
2. We could kill its ability to ever grow a nail.

I didn't want to be a freak.. (ok.. freakier then normal) I opted to "leave it be" .. The doctor said she could clean up the nail bed so we could start fresh with a new nail.. I said that would be good.. And it was like slow motion.. Because I closed my eyes for like a second.. and when I looked again.. She had this HUGE elephant dart like needle that she was jabbing my toe with.. I yelped and she only responded with.. "Yeah it hurts, huh?" Before I was fully able to recover from that violation.. She took PLIERS and ripped off the remaining nail.. RIPPED OFF!! I was light headed from seeing my toe gush blood and from a weird feeling that I was in some sort of bad mob movie.. "You have made the boss very angry.. "

As she finished the "procedure" I voiced concern about when I regained feeling in my toe.. what was I to do if the pain hurted like a bitch.. She said take an aspirin.. AN ASPIRIN!

I must admit, dear reader, I took 2 vicodin.. and things are looking cool-i-o! But Kaiser still SUCKS! Peace Out!

Say it ain't so!

Low and behold.. Nic has not been waiting for me to free myself of my commitments.. he apparently has a girl. I don't like thinking of him with a girl.. because I have loudly answered YES to each and every time he has asked.... ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL? I kind of figured we had a commitment .. hmph. I mean I don't tattoo just anybodies name on my ass.. I must however, tell you that it delights me that the girl is not some model type ..but a sweet brown eyed girl.. kinds sorta looks like me if you squint and look real fast.. If my research is correct, she is a bit of a sports nut.. LOVE HER!

You don't know me!

I am soooo Elaine! After a boat load of trouble getting an appointment at the MO FO Kaiser, I finally was awaiting the doctors grand entrance.. with my moose paw exposed .. waiting for a lil TLC..

I shall rewind, dear reader, to bring you up to speed. About 5 or 6 years ago, I traveled up to SF to a welcome home celebration for my dear sister. For the past 3 days, she had been walking from San Jose to SF to raise money for breast cancer.. I never really knew anything about the event until that day.. And the whole experience overwhelmed me. I got this weird feeling in my gut that I wanted to be a part of this.. I made a promise to her to do it with her the following year. .. Of course, the end ceremony is beautiful.. all the shit before it is what sucks. In preperation for this walk, I started walking .. and walking.. and walking. To be honest with you, I was sick of it.. I hated it. That is why people made cars, so you wouldn't have to walk ridiculous distances. In the process of training, the shoes I selected, were poorly designed.. and the shoe box was rubbing my big toe the wrong way.. I ended up losing it. (my toe nail, not the toe) To this day, the toe never has quite been the same. Fast forward to last week.. The toe was looking more funky then normal.. was swollen.. and hurt like the dickens. I got in to see the doctor (finally) and he was fixing me up. As we were wrapping up our appointment, he asked when the last time I had a tetnis shot.. Honestly, I don't ever remember having one. I asked why. He said something about rusty nails and lock jaw. hmph. I don't like shots.. So, I told him that I JUST Had one the other day.. Being the smart Doctor type that he was, he knew I wasn't being truthful and said that he recommends that I get it... I howled.. I don't want it.. He looked at me , pen in hand, and said.. Well.. I can note that you refused this.. I suddenly got a flash Of Elaine and Uncle Leo.. and being forever branded a "difficult" patient.. sniff sniff.. Its hard enough dealing with Kaiser being a good patient, let alone a difficult one. I got the shot & it STILL hurts..

P.S. The mo fo really did nothing for my toe. I have an appointment at the Podiatrist next week..

Monster baby meets youngin

Treasures found

Doesn't daddy look super cute?

Daddy was cleaning the ol' computer out.. and freed this photo from long ago. This was taken on our 1st wedding anniversary.. We spent the day on Alcatraz..

Note for friends.. It is a mountain you must climb.. no trams .. grr.. don't wear hot new boots.

I agree madam chairman.. She is a 'tard

I originally opened up the chronicles to comments thinking I would get nothing but accolades.. "Oh Moosey, you are SO funny.." "Moose, where do you come up with this stuff??"

I actually got a "WTF" .. I was horrified.. I don't deal with criticism well.. I immediately sank back into being alone with my thoughts.. and I would blog for my own enjoyment.. Then, a dear reader reminded me that The FAB Nic Cester could not say the word to me.. and get NICCESTER.COM from me, because he had no way of contacting me.. I feverishly reactivated comments.. hoping I didn't miss Nic's visit to the blog.. UGH.. Little did I know, I set the comments up wrong.. UGH.. sorry .. perdon.. Please forgive my indiscretion!
MERCI BOU COUP!