Judas Go Home!

We beat L.A.!

Enough said.

Ba-bye Landon..!!

SAN JOSE -- Los Angeles Galaxy forward Landon Donovan scored for the first time against his former team, but it wasn't enough as the San Jose Earthquakes got a late goal from former Galaxy defender Danny Califf to win 2-1 Saturday night at Spartan Stadium.
Alejandro Moreno, another former Galaxy player, also scored for the Earthquakes, who remain unbeaten at home during the MLS regular season. With the win, San Jose extended its lead atop the Western Conference to eight points ahead of second-place FC Dallas, which drew 2-2 with Chivas USA.
The match got off to a strong start, as both teams looked to attack from the opening whistle. Los Angeles nearly got on the board in the eighth minute, but Onstad came up with a big shot to deny overlapping center back Pablo Chinchilla, who had gotten behind Kelly Gray.
Ronald Cerritos was a constant threat early for San Jose, as he was able to collect balls by dropping into midfield as well as get behind the defense on occasion. In the 14th minute, Cerritos received a long pass from Brian Mullan and was able to get a shot off with the outside of his right foot from just outside the penalty spot. However, Galaxy 'keeper Kevin Hartman was able to make the easy save.
Clark had a chance in the 22nd minute, but his full volley missed wide right. After Moreno won a corner kick, Chung served the ball in and it was headed out to De Rosario, who laid it off to Clark at the top of the box. Clark took a touch and then hit his volley.
The Earthquakes' continued pressure resulted in their first goal just a minute later. After Chung was hacked in the right corner by Chinchilla, he found Moreno with the ensuing free kick. Moreno got inside of Marshall and flicked in a header while making solid contact with Hartman. Despite protestations from several members of the Galaxy, the goal stood, and San Jose led in the 23rd minute.
Booed once again on every touch of the ball, Donovan appeared to be off his game in the first 30 minutes of his second visit to Spartan Stadium as an opposing player. Califf added to his woes by shoving him to the turf in the 29th minute, but the veteran defender was able to escape a yellow-card caution from referee Abbey Okulaja.
However, Donovan came to life minutes later. Just seconds after running mate Jovan Kirovski left the game with a contusion to his right knee suffered in a collision with San Jose defender Eddie Robinson, the former San Jose star struck for his first goal against his old team.
Herculez Gomez, who replaced Kirovski, flicked a ball to Donovan, who headed it past the sliding Ricardo Clark. Donovan then let loose with a swerving, dipping shot from 22 yards out into the upper right corner to make it 1-1.
Coming off a spirited midweek U.S. Open Cup match that resulted in eight yellow cards and a sending off of Los Angeles defender Todd Dunivant, the first half was hotly contested but relatively clean.
Galaxy right back Chris Albright was issued the game's first yellow card in the 45th minute for a studs-up challenge on Wade Barrett. San Jose right back Gray then received a caution just a couple minutes later for dissent.
However, tempers began to flare in the second half. After a hard -- but clean -- tackle by Chung on Tyrone Marshall, the Galaxy defender reacted angrily by repeatedly shoving the Earthquakes midfielder. Marshall was shown the yellow card in the 51st minute for his actions. Beyond that, the match featured no further incidents.
San Jose got off to a quick start in the second half as Cerritos nearly scored in the 46th minute off a set piece cross from Chung. Cerritos slipped in behind the Galaxy defense, but his point-blank header was deflected by Hartman and then back off Cerritos for a goal kick.
Sheer effort by Mullan resulted in another scoring opportunity for the Earthquakes in the 61st minute as he outworked Dunivant near the endline to keep the ball in. Mullan then ran the ball down and played it back to Gray, who served the ball in to Dwayne De Rosario for a header that was parried off the bar and over the endline by Hartman.
Moreno got behind the defense in the 64th minute off a combination play from the hustling Chung and De Rosario, but under Marshall's pressure, he was unable to get much on his shot and Hartman saved easily.
The match maintained its intensity throughout as both teams searched enthusiastically for the winning goal. Albright outwrestled Ronald Cerritos in the penalty area to latch onto a free kick by Donovan, but his header slammed off the right post in the 65th minute. Then in the 67th minute, Donovan turned Califf in the area, but his left-footed effort was directly at Onstad.
Off a corner kick from Mark Chung in the 75th minute, Califf beat Chris Albright to the ball and powered a header past Los Angeles goalkeeper Kevin Hartman. For Califf, who spent the first five seasons of his MLS career with the Galaxy, it was his first goal in a San Jose uniform and his first goal since the 2002 campaign.
Donovan nearly broke the hearts of the San Jose faithful yet again, but his 82nd minute free kick was parried over the bar by goalkeeper Pat Onstad.
The Galaxy had a last-gasp effort in stoppage time, but Ricardo Clark was able to challenge Tyrone Marshall just enough to force his point-blank shot off a corner kick over the bar.

The Addict.. What is the number for that A&E show?

When you live by a schedule and you don't take the time to look around, sometimes you miss stuff.. This "vacation" has made me realize that I have an addict in my very own home. In my home!! Can you believe it.. I never imagined it would happen to me.. (sigh)

Pepper.
Pepper-Lina Silly Billy Almeida has a crutch. She is OBSESSED with this mo fo ball. I CANNOT handle the whining and the barking and the playing.. He CONSTANTLY needs to play with this ball.. throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...throw it.. get it...
It is NEVER ending.. and when my little pulse is at its peak and I must retire for an icy beverage, Pepper BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS &BARKS !!!!

SEND HELP! FOR ME! PLEASE!

Those who know

This "blog" was intended initially to follow me through the plastic surgery experience.
Little did I know I would land on my ass and not get up for DAYS! I mean it was difficult to move in bed, let alone get up and gleefully share my daily thoughts.
Fear not reader, the blog will stay long after the 3.5 liters per leg was sucked from my thighs.. !!(Damn I was/am a moose) So, be patient and I will continue the fight.
Peace out.

The true meaning of life..

This year, I met Danny. It was destiny. I think that every person you know brings something different and special to your life. Danny is certainly no exception. I have known Danny forever it seems and we "get" eachother.. Today is Dannys birthday.. and I love him.. Happy Birthday, Danny.. You is my man.. Much love!

Sadness

is the realization that this will most likely be the last season that the Quakes will play in San Jose. I am not kidding myself this time. I have written all the letters and made all the calls .. The idea that they are moving is completely out of the control of anyone I have the ability to influence. I have photographed my seat .. In a little tribute.. It has taken care of my ass for 10 seasons.. Bravo mr bench.. bravo.
Did you notice it is RIGHT behind the Quakes bench! What a time I have had .. fromthe celebrations after a Ching goal, to Kinnear telling the ref he is in fact in his area.. and to leave him alone.. (sigh)

Happiness

.. can truly be defined as the instant that this photo was taken. A man I really admire was arm in arm with sweet lil ol ME. We both look so perfect together.. I noticed that our eyes are like exactly the same color... that must mean something! Its kinda freaky that you can pretty much see evry tooth in my mouth.. I am gushing a little... After the picture was taken, I tapped his rock hard back and said thanks.. (sigh).. Vic said he is homely in person.. jealousy is not pretty.

Go Quakes!

Mental note: Ask doctor to possibly increase my meds....

Crunch time.

I have been eagerly awaiting for August 16th to roll around.. Not only will it be my brothers 29th birthday, but it will also be the start of quite a little adventure.. At 7:30 am, I will going "under the knife" ... My lateral, anterior and medial thighs will be under attack..
I love watching Dr 90210 .. After watching a marathon, I got to thinking that maybe I could be sculpted.. I decided to email Dr Li and ask her to take me on as a pro-bono case. I love to write letters and see what my words can accomplice. As I was crafting my letter, I began to do a little investigating.. and discovered that there were companies out there that finance purely plastic surgery procedures.. as a lark, I decided to apply.. Little did I now that I would qualify! My financial advisor had given me the name of a great surgeon in my area and I decided it wouldn't hurt to see what he had to say.. You know if I got naked in front of the dude, I must be serious, right.. Well the surgery in THIS Tuesday! Pray for me,eh?

Replacing one funk with another is not the answer

Mad shout out to Paul Matsui.. My Honda compadre. He hooked me up with a sweet deal and has been guiding me through the Honda owner experience ever since. His wife, LORI, the chick I gots to work with has apparently decided I am crazy.. Perhaps it is my sweet disposition or my constant comments about how hot her 17 year old son is.. (whatever!) Anyways, back to Paul.. I happen to mention that due to an unusually hot day and a pair of very cheaply made star jones mules, my feet developed a funky funk. I happen to take my shoes off in the car and it seems that the funk got sucked up into the air vent.. NOW every time I use the air conditioner I get flash backs to the funk.. AGH! So, I tell Lori about my little dilemma.. and she shares it with Paul .. who writes on the service order, for all the lil mechanics to see that I have a foot issue.. This is the cross I have to bear .. Must everyone know that behind my hottness is a funkness? you think they could cut me some slack!!! ANYWAYS.. the answer to my funk foot issue, was to spray some funky ass egg smelling shit. My head starting pounding.. and it was so hot out that I couldn't roll down the windows.. I was encased in a horrible egg jail!!! (I think it might be LORI's revenge...)The moral of the story. DEAL WITH IT. My feet smell pretty sweet compared to OTHER stuff.. It kinda grows on ya, you know a sign of good old fashioned .. back breaking work.. !! I am human, I sweat.. jeesh!

Oh yeah. Much love to Paul. He is a sweetheart. He might even buy you lunch on Lori's credit card.. Wink wink.. Nudge nudge!

What is my mo fo problem...

Well, if you know me... it is more along the lines of .."now what".. I am always having some drama.. but this really takes the cake! My DEAR ..LOVELY friend.. A man I have known forever and who laughs at all my stupid jokes had a birthday and I FORGOT.. I mean, hello? What is my problem. He went to Nordstroms and got me Chanel lipstick for mine (thanks, Pat.. Its FAB!) and I couldn't even call him.. I am mortified at myself.. I am so sorry my darling.. I will treat you and Jodith to dinner.. Unfortunately, due to my current situation it will most likely be 2 for $2 at the BK lounge! but its the thought, right? LOVE YOU MAN!

mental note for next year: 07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...07-28...

It comes out the wazoo.

So, I am going to be an aunt.. again.
This time it is a little different, because it is my sister.. MY sister.. she will be brutally honest about it all... No flower coated stories about the pain being "not that bad" (hello it comes out your kootch!!) She will share the pain and the joy of it all. She deserves little Sabine Kuehnel.. She deserves EVERY happiness... Even if miss skinny minny, My skinny little wonderwoman now has a BIG ass belly.. The prima ballerina who only gave up her craft because it conflicted with Saturday morning cartoons. My sweet playmate who thought it would be funny to tell me to run really,really fast down the hall way .. only to be clothes lined by the yarn she had strategically woven between two doors.. ah.. the good ol days...

Much love sis.

Una Mas

Same Game. First goal (out of 3) woo hoo! There is no place I would rather be.. The energy is electric! Doesn't it seem like a wonderland.. The sky exploded with goodness and love and the world is right! Shall I break into a spiritual here? You know, God is an AWESOME GOD! (this is where Lucy would jump up like da fool.. hand to the sky and be like one of them ladies on the infomercial) .. Speaking of which, I miss mealie...

My tribute to the J Giles band!

I happen to be going through the pictures on my camera and I came upon this little beauty. I decided to post it to freeze the moment in time.. A little tear is welling up in my eye. I spose I should tend to it,eh?

et tu, ficus?

so, the evening would not be complete until I found yet another thing I failed at.. I happened to be taking a gander at my little ficus.. I loved this tree.. I use the past tense, because I don't think it qualifies as a tree anymore.. It use to gingerly touch the ceiling.. massive branches filled with leaves barely fit into the southeast corner of the room..

NOW?

The ficus is on a hunger strike. I have a feeling that its in cahoots with the geranium.. I guess it is under the impression that M-I-L will come in and save the day.. I mean, I did try! I went to Starbucks and gave the good ol boy some grounds.. Apparently, they like that.. But the only thing that happened was a big mold patch grew on the dirt.. Who knew you were suppose to spread it around.. (mental note: write Starbucks on the importance of directions)

I feed it Miracle grow.. Which is a crock.. Because as you can see, it is a sad little shrub.. It truly NEEDS a miracle.. What am I to do?

Mother Alves Just happen to put her Ficus.. (ironic she has the same plant) out in the front yard.. It is on steiroids or something.. It is so perfect, it doesn't look real.. agh.. Perhaps I should give her tree a little Moose attention,eh? hmm. The mind is going now!

why yes, Lisa.. I am at the airport

Technically speaking .. I do live on the runway.. So, when you try and make an unannounced visit and want to come over while you know full well I am in my grubby clothes.. I AM NOT lying when I say I am at the airport.. I have taken the liberty of going into my back yard.. and taking a photo.. STRAIGHT UP ... No trick photography here..
I live in what the high falooting realtors call a flight path.. VERY EXCLUSIVE!

You are forgiven for doubting me.

da hood.

I have lived in Willow Glen for most of my life.. I married into the hood.. It is ok.. I mean it is not out by the Betty Boop fence, but we do have our own challenges..

Over the past 3 years, I have had some key learning experiences..
For instance... I couldn't figure out how those pesky kids got their shoes stuck on the electricity lines.. I took the time to call around and the nice man from the PG&E came over and took them down.. funny thing, they found their way back up there pretty darn quick..
Another thing that makes me wonder.. why do the police make special nightly visits to my neighborhood. Up and down the streets they drive.. I personally think they want to make sure all the girls and boys stop playing hide and seek in the bushes and get home in time for supper..
Why else would they flash those high powered flood lights in all the yards.. hmm.

Like I don't have a clue..

So, the other day I was running out the door to work.. at like 7am.. and the old woman was outside gardening.. She had her kung foo hat on (apparently to keep the summer sun off her dooo) She had obviously been out there for some time sweeping her dirt pile (will get into that story another time) .. Her face was all dewey.. (wait that sounds sweet) she was ALL sweaty and nasty.. Big pit rings.. ew.. .. ANYWHO..

As I was walking out MY door, she stopped me and told me how pretty my geraniums were.. They finally got flowers... I said, yeah yeah.. And then she said all it took was some water.. Implying that I either do not know how plants grow or I am a complete idiot.. It does irritate me that she took the liberty of watering MY plants. I am incapable of tending to geraniums. The plant that will outlive us all.. AGH!

She cooks.. she scores!

As I stated before. I don't cook. I am on atkins and at this point, I see food as fuel.... (Although low carb butter pecan ice cream is DA BOMB! Shout out to Shwanny man!!) I fully understand that this is not my husbands fault and he has to eat.. So, I take my hard earned money and try and stock the house with premade delicious entrees that Ms Marie Callenders has slaved over.. I don't leave my man out in the cold.. I got his back! But lately, the old woman.. (aka M-I-L) cooks for him.. Heaping plates of Ghoulosh.. Morning Noon and Night this boy is getting fed.. How can I be blamed for not taking care of the man if she steps in? I mean if I was a man it would be emasculating.. What is it when I am a chick.. The old woman has nerve.. After I tripped over the beautifully folded clothes.. (see photo below) I ran into these.. (see photo above) I think if she could and it was appropriate she would probably sleep with him, too.. She needs to BACK OFF.. does anyone know how to say that in Portuguese?

This says it all...

By no fault of my own, my mother in law lives with me.. Not technically, because we have completely separate houses.. they are just connected.. they share a common wall... a thick security door.. (which she ironically has the key for) ...

I can go days without seeing her, but her presence is always felt. My husband married me.. Me. the girl who hates to cook.. and only cleans once or twice a month. The girl who doesn't know you should wash a chicken before you cook it.. (who knew??) The girl who jams the washer with every color imaginable.. (including white and dark) .. and uses clorox excessively..

His MOTHER makes it very clear that I am not good enough for her boy. (see photo above) I come home from a hard draining day at work to this. A pile of his neatly folded clothes in my kitchen. This tells me two things... I have failed her boy yet again.. and she was in my house.. :(

Aloha!

The annual all star break is finally over...and tonight MLS started the 2nd 1/2 of the season.. Quakes POUNDED the "yellow submarine" crew. The best part of the evening was that it was Hawaiian night and I got lei'd .. finally. The night was to honor STAR forward.. your friend and mine.. Brian Ching. Native Hawaiian son. (see photos above).. isn't he a Qt ?? He is still on injured reserve so he wasn't suited up to play.. but he was in the cutest lil outfit!

Just saw LA get pounded and Landon was SHUT DOWN! woo hoo.. God is GOOD. Much Love. Peace OUT!

Is my head big?

I use to think my head was of average size. Every member of my family has generally the same size head, so I really had no way to judge its enormity. When the idea that my head was a wee bit larger then the average Joe was brought to my attention, I thought long and hard and decided it meant I had a massive brain.. I was, in essence, a freak of nature! My brain was far bigger then the mere mortals that I was forced to mingle with every damn day.. It was quite simply jam packed with smarts!
This leads to the day when my dream world came crashing down around me! A few weeks ago, I was overjoyed to learn that I would be in the background of an actual Quakes game action photo. The photo would appear in the local paper for all my homegirls to see.. (Being a season ticket holder does have its privileges, you know... !! ) My excitement turned to horror when I realized that my heads gynormousness took the attention off the game and focused it square on my 24 inch noggin!

Woe is me.

Mental Note: I must take solace in knowing I am smarter then every other MO FO out there!

Life's funny road

You know .. who would have guessed that life would take me to a place where two of my bestest friends would be a chicano homegirl and a chinese lady who claims to have sisterhood pride. Work would be unbearable without them.. We haven't actually vacationed together yet, but I believe time will bring us to that. .. (although I am super concerned about the sistahs idea of a a good time.. somthing about getting all you can eat ribs at a check cashing place??)

Don Vito WASSUP!

He's all mine!

If you know me, you know I have an opinion on EVERYTHING. For instance...
Love soccer / hate baseball... Love Gretta Van Susteran / hate Hannity and Colmes.
Dan Abrahms is hot / Vin Diesal is NOT.... Dogs rock / Cats are smelly.....

(I will stop!! cuz this could go on for days)

One other thing about me is that I always complain about my husband. ALWAYS.
We seem to have a love hate relationship. I can never do anything right and he never has time for me. But you know what? He is MY husband. He "belongs" to me. I am his woman. I love that. and I love him! Cheers to my hot sexy Portugues ball -o- fire.. From the **moment** I saw him, I knew we would be married.. I love you man!
Peace out .. AND for the love of God, gimme some lovin already!

RIP lil Peppy

Vroom. Vroom.

A friend of mine paid upwards of $200 to see the innaugural Grand Prix of San Jose. While I am certainly happy that he has an interest that doesn't involve Xena or Hercules.. I cannot understand what the sport is even about. The one thing that was very clear: IT WAS LOUD. I live a good 3 miles away, and out my window, I could hear the cars revving and screeching around the track. This is unnecessary. I was also terribly frightened that a car would lose control and smack into one of our beautiful buildings.. I mean I drive like a maniac at like 45 miles an hour.. Can you imagine what kind of damage can be done at 150+? I understand that they had to go around the track 100 times.. This brings up an interesting idea.. Sometimes when I drive, I get into a funk and after a minute or two revive myself and wonder how I got where I am.. I seem to day-dream drive.. Do these drivers do it too? Something for Mr Taylor Woodrow to think about next time.. The beautiful PG&E building might be in danger!!

Are the birds trying to tell us something?

With the news of a wee bird being killed by the space shuttle as it rocketed into space, I began to remember other such "accidents" and started to wonder if the birds are in fact suicide birds. What if they are actually part of Jihad? I must email Geraldo right now so he can get on it..

One more Landon comment,promise!

This was the defeated Landon in front of the Quakes fans. I lost my voice that night.. and my pretty pink, LANDON SUCKS, sign made its point.. Did I mention?

BOO LANDON!!

This is where the confusion began...

While I was watching the game today.. I admit (as I have stated in previous posts) that I did feel a twinge of guilt that I no longer am a fan of Donovan. These feelings came after seeing a clip of the 2002 MLS All star game that was played at Spartan stadium and I was in attendance. I was in the front row for Landon's famous immitation of Brandi Chastain...(see photo)

Luckily, they played a little bit of a Landon interview over the top of the footage. He couldn't believe that he did such foolish things.. and he claimed he had grown up so much since then. Its too bad that growing up means stabbing your fans in the back... BOO LAANDON!

The reality...

There is no bigger rivalary then the Quakes versus The Galaxy.
When Landon CHOSE to return to MLS to play for the OTHER team, he became the enemy. Players are constantly shuffled around the league.. This season we have 2 former Galaxy members, Califf and Moreno, but they came because the Galaxy felt they no longer needed them .. They were discarded. Landon CHOSE to abandon the bond he had with the San Jose fans... for what, I don't know. I do know that there was no sweeter victory then Landon's first visit back to Spartan in the Yellow jersey.. and Landon was booed every time he touched the ball (me being the loudest) and the Quakes reigned victorious 3-0!!! GO QUAKES!

History

How can I possibly have hate for such a sweet boy you ask.. His little hand is barely big enough to hold onto the ball..

Today I asked myslef this very question.. As the MLS Allstars trampled Fulham FC (4-1), I saw Landon the way I did in the begininning. I remember when I called the Earthquakes head office and my account rep excitedly told me that we had gotten Donovan. I had no idea who he was at the time...and little did I know what an impact he would make on the soccer scene. For the next several years, Landon gave his heart and soul to the San Jose fans and in return , we gave him ours. The threat was always looming that Bayer Leverkusen, the team that owned his contract, would call him back. There was genuine excitement that he was playing as well as he was, but with that we knew Bayer Leverkusen would want him back. At the end of last years season, we were met with the news that he was returning to Germany.

I was a little sad.. but knew he had little to say in where he was heading. We bid him adieu and wished him well..

Hello faithful reader...

And I do mean that literally .. as in singular.. uno.. ONE.. it really doesn't matter if anyone actually reads what I write.. the point IS to write, right? Today was one of them days.. I try and look 1/2 way decent .. you know, brush the hair and the teeth.. dab on a hint of rouge.. etc,.. I wake up to discover that I didn't wash out all the conditioner from my hair... (this space left blank for audible gasps from reader).. It is the shit. I have no time to re-wash my hair.. and NOTHING can be done with it. I actually spent alot of time conditioning it, but it looks like shit... Period.. and all day, I get that weird itchy feeling like I am dirty..
And my poor foot is a little on the hurt side.. I stepped on something and it has thrown my whole body out of whack.. I try and limp and not put pressure on the bad foot, but then I am over using the other leg ...which in turn makes it all weak and sad.. AND then, I had like a headache ALL day.. I am talking ALL day!! And it was one of those headaches that it simply hurts to even breath.... woe is me..
but, alas.. dear reader... as my crazy ass, poofy haired friend (names withheld to protect skeeters reputation) would say, God Is good... Just as my day appears to be pure shit... I hear the pitter patter of crazy dog outside. What is crazy dog you ask?? Sometimes when I keep Pepper.. (my other pooche, my boy.. see photo) in the house.. and he rests too much, he becomes possessed.. Taken over body and spirit by a run away jet engine.. his back feet literally get in front of his front feet and he is just a blur across the walk way.. That makes the entire bad day go away.. Both my dogs are really kewl.. and I love em.. aside from them not coming out of my kootch they are my kids.. !! xo, ciao for now.. My boy is ganging up on my lil girl.. a mothers job is never done!

I hate my job...

I really don't believe when God invented me he had it in his head that I would be selling phone service.. I mean I don't believe that he created as kick ass a person as me .. and then he turned around and made this the purpose of my life.
What my purpose is exactly, I do not know.. I do know that I hate my job.. it has no true meaning and it is just a huge waste of time.
I do work with some great people... Fun people.. They really make it an ok place to be.. I would never have met these people were it not for the horrific job I endure.. (mad props to Lisa and Lucy.. and my sister girl Brenda! And peace out to Debbie and Bernie "boobs" flores! )
With that said, I must tell you .. Some of the people that I work with are the dregs of society .. I am talking BOTTOM of the barrel.. Stupid ass.. beyotches and ho's.. I am talking uneducated crazy F'ers!! No names are necessary because it is blatantly obvious who these MO FO's are.. I digress.. and can hear the faint chorus "......bad boys, bad boys.. whatcha gonna do..." My T.V. is 'a callin. Ciao

Yes we is a pretty bunch.

ok. Now that I have vented.. an opportunity for you, my faithful reader, to enjoy something that has brought me immense happiness.. My pooch!

Venti Cappachino

(last name withheld to protect her privacy)

I feel the need to break into song....

".............isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful..doo wop..."

damn, I should have bought the sheet music.. thats all i know.. ciao.

Deep cleansing breath...

OK.. I am a little better.. I happened to have the radio in the bathroom.. Don't ask me now about that.. I will address this later as well.. (Mental note to self disscuss Howard Stern and Sirius in bathroom) So, I ran a hot bath and E-N-J-O-Y-E-D the vocal stylings of the wonderful Mr. John Schrader.. He gives GREAT game. I joyfully listened as the Quakes took the rapids in a 2-1 beaute of a game.

Go Quakes.

random notes........... Always BEAT L.A. .. Landon sucks.. he is traitor scum..or as I saw plastered on a wonderfully crafted sign.. Landon is a prima-donovan

I hate San Jose Soccer........

Ok, let me clarify.. I love the Quakes.. L-O-V-E them.. Every single one of them.. Even the creepy Kit Man Malcolm... What I have a MAJOR problem with is that I cannot stand how little the city pays attention to soccer. We are in the midst of losing them.. They are 2/3 of their way to Houston..Some Mexican mafiaesque team is fixin' to steal em and move em' on out.. and NO ONE cares.. Its sad.. I mean, I faithfully attend EVERY game.. Watch on the television when they are away, and glue myself to AM radio for chrissake when they don't make it to the TV.. And no one cares...What really pissed me off today was that the game started at 6:30 ..6:30.. Yes, 6:30.. But it didn't actually start broadcasting until 7:00.. What I don't think people understand, especially the A Holes at 1590 KLIV, is that people plan there schedule around such things as start times.. and when you R-U-N home to catch the game.. SO you can crack open a beer.. (ok I don't drink beer, but I am trying to paint a picture here.. go with it) in the comfort of your own home and excitedly turn on the radio at 6:30 .. and then find some stupid news show about changing kids diets so they can be taken off ridalin??? Who cares? Not me!! Let kids be fricken kids.. and stop over annalyzing every damn thing!! And understand.. when I want to hear the Quakes, play the damn game!! Why carry the game at all??? If you start it late..Whats the point... They are such pieces of shit.. I mean really..

Its 12:08am .. Have you seen my husband?

Being alone sucks. I mean I am married, but where the heck is he? We work different shifts.. As I am getting home, he is rolling off to start his day. I like the space, but I need the man for chrissake! Its after midnight.. the dogs are on the sofa.. peaking out the window.. wanting to know where daddy is.. what is keeping him.. I am beginning to wonder, too...but never fear, he just pulled up. Of course it will take him an hour to get into mother Alves fortress.. I will speak on that later... Ciao!

Beckham finally got his teefers fixed..!

So, Saturday was FILLED with soccer.. I know it has become a theme.. (Saturdays filled with Soccer) ..but what do you expect? I did pay 70.00 smacks to the man to see all the games.. I was excited that after the game at RFK stadium, Real Madrid was playing some Spanish team.. (Yes this means the fabulous David Beckham was there!!!) They showed David arriving at the venue.. and as soon as I saw him, memories of "Bend it Like Beckham" came flooding back.. That movie is forever scarred with the final scene of david belting out a tune.. and all you can see are his hideous English teeth... I actually felt bad for him. I mean if you have Beckham money there should be a list of things that are automatically taken care of.. #1 TEETH. They have to be good.. they are the window to the soul, right? Some famous person said that! ANYWAYS, when he spoke to Brandi Chastain, his gleaming chiklets were beautiful! Good 'ol Posh must've seen the movie footage and made him get em fixed..

I am certainly not laughing...

So, I raced home to be in front of the tele to watch my boys play.. and the first thing that went wrong was that the afternoon heat was puttin me to sleep. I mean have you ever been in such a sleep funk that you catch yourself sleeping and try and snap yourself out of it.. ??

I turned on the air to like 30 degrees to shock my system awake... that didn't work!
I drank like 3 cups 'o' coffee.. that didn't work..
the only thing that finally did it.. the thing that woke my ass up.. was when John Schrader hollered.. GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL .. and it wasn't one of ours. The Quakes were kind of in the same funk I was in.. I understand it was really hot and muggy in D.C. and that must have just taken the ooomph out of their little hot bodies.. but they were just really unrecognizable.. playing really sloppy...not marking well.. not completing passes.. I am glad I got to see the game.. but damn, I sure wish they would a won!
We have to pray now that by the grace of God, Chivas wins tomorrow againt L.A.... It is highly unlikely.. but I have hope.

What are you laughing at exactly?

OK, so at lunch I went to Walmart. I have seen that special about how Wal Mart is an evil empire and the whole place is pulling down the American way of life, but in all honesty they have kick ass prices. I needed a coffee maker because the one that we have is very tempermental.. emphasis on the "mental" .. I never realized that the world was so hustle and bustle on a Wednesday afternoon. It took me f-o-r-e-v-e-r to get through the MO FO line. I mean come on people.. haven't you ever heard about a lunch hour? We have to squeeze a lot in to that hour, don cha know? Maybe its not the best time to do the yearly "stock up on every damn thing"- Wal Mart run.. And I use run as a noun.. certainly not as a verb in this case, because these people DO NOT move!
I guess the day itself started out shitty because I have this routine.
Get up.. Get dressed. Drop pooch off at Ma's .. Get coffee.. go to work..
Everything was splendid up until the Get coffee.. And to be completely honest, without that critical aspect of the morning.. The day is shit. I was happily merging on 880 .. when my day started to fall into suck mode.. The sob's in the "traffic calming" office (what the F????) have decided that there #1 goal is to have freeways running smoothly.. At any cost.. I guess if the traffic copters see cars moving on the freeway, no complaints.. well, the copters obviously don't see that the damn stop lights to get on the freeway are backed up for.. literally..miles!
It took me like 1/2 an hour to get on the damn freeway.. it was a city block in distance.. and the damn light held me captive.. AGH.. down with the calming of traffic.. Let traffic rage!!! LONG LIVE WILD TRAFFIC!!! this 1/2 hour of imprisonment ate up the critical starbucks time.. and I went to work with NOTHING.. woe is me .. :(

I am done speaking French.. Its Tuesday

Well, I am excited because I get to leave early on Friday. The Quakes have an away game and of course it starts at the weirdest time.. 430. I can't really work the VCR .. and Victor refuses to tape it for me.. and even if he did, he would tape it on this weird super VHS which wont work on my laye person VCR. My 'surgery' is fast approaching.. Pa finally aquiessed and said he would kick down some cash.. But I dont need it/want it.. I like having the independance thing under my belt. ho hum.

Phase 1 part three (not sure how to say 3 in french)

Today was very productive. I actually woke up at like 430 am.. and freaked out thinking it was Monday.. and reset my alarm clock to wake up on time for work. AGH. Its hard to believe I am able to function 1/2 asleep, but I do it... ho hum. I finally realized it was in fact Sunday and I reset the alarm.
Woke up and went to church. Like the whole church thing.. There was a visiting priest today.. from St Patricks.. An Irish priest if you can believe it. He was talking about how he was a missionary in Africa and the Catholic church helped this poor country revolt against the dictatorship.. Pretty kewl. Saw Father Leo.. I kind of think of him as my little priest..
I sent him a letter a few weeks ago asking for his help.. I kinda want his guidance figuring things out.. well, I just sent him my first "issue" letter .. the one about not being able to handle the idea of nothing.. lets see how long he takes to respond. .. I figure, hey free therapy right?

anyways... off to bed now. much love to my homies. xoxox

The scandle.......revealed.

I am here to debunk what the fellas really
say in these pre game huddles..




My boys ... the glorious quakes .. (sigh)
They are talking about ME! I am paraphrasing
here, but I imagine it goes something like this...
"hey did you catch that stone cold fox in the first row..
damn i didn't realize they came that purdey.."
Now they only have like 30 seconds to
have this little exchange, so they get right to the point!!

Side note for the ladies.... (well, and some boys too
I spose...) Did you notice their thighs?
They are HUGE! Love me a thick man. xoxoxo

Phase 1 part deux

So, today was a weird day. I was really tired and I slept till 1pm if you can believe it. I pretty much was lazy girl wonder today. I was really excited that the day was chalk filled with soccer. Every 1/2 hour a new game started. The capper was my boys, the Quakes, in Columbus. Well, as usual.. when you want something bad, the shit hits the fan. The Mo Fo's at Comcast decided that they would conspire against sweet lil ole me and basically f with the signal.. I was lucky to see like ..end to end.. 10 minutes of the game. I heard..oooooooal.. and saw Eddie running.. and then when they replayed the goal, it went black.. You tell me?? c-o-n-s-p-i-r-i-c-y! Its probably those f'ers at AEG.. they seem to want to make my life living hell. But, everything was right in the world.. Even though the f'ers at FSN tape delayed the game because they feel its unimportant, I did get to see the game in its entirety. AND the galaxy scum lost .. so we are in 2nd place all by our lonesome.. YEAH US!

Phase 1

hmm. I figured I would document the perils of being me and you would enjoy reading about it. I mean I am a pretty interesting person if you get right down to it. I mean hello, look at me! Back at you in a bit!