Happy Birth day, Lily Doe!

ps.. I know I have been lazy and not giving my love to you , dear reader. Be strong! I will be back soon.

The Dynasty continues...

Huh? fine.

So, about the previous comment.. It was for one person. So, if you don't get it, then it worked. If you get it, I am nervous. Here is the story. My dear sweet friend, Tania, and I went to the Shark Tank to see Maroon Five. It was really weird.. In the past year, I have been to 10 concerts, so I am not a total nerd .. I can totally ROCK out, but they have all been JET shows. I am not complaining.. I mean I love Jet. I love everything about them and if I could JUST go to JET shows from now on, I would be cool with it.. But it was weird NOT seeing Nic's lil smokin body on the stage.. I was sad.. ANYWAYS, so, we went to Maroon Five... kick ass seats. And we were NOT the oldest people there (which is a BIG fear of mine) .. when Tania and I went to concerts when we were in highschoool, (Erasure, B52's,Rick Astley, Richard Marx) we would make so much fun of the old people at the show.. " don't these lame 30+ year olds have some where else to be???" .... But we danced and had fun... didn't recognize the opening bands.. Phantom Planet and the Hives ... hmph.
So, we danced and texted eachother (cuz it was so loud) and we took pics and danced., and danced.. (Did I mention we danced?) hahahaha Tania heard that I made out with a chick at the last Jet show, so she was trying to ply me with liquor.. to get a smooch.. hmph. And the chick next to us was a chick we went to high school with.. we had a bowling class together and the big scandal was that she stole the shoes..
And then we left early, cuz us oldies want to beat the crowd, and we danced at the door to SHE WILL BE LOVED.. I miss the girl (Tania) I love her.. xoxoxox

No, TLG, you may not have my pants.. and I told you so!

God, he isn't going to bring Prima-Donovan with him !!! Now, Beck's is another story entirely..

Good evening,

I wanted to inform you of the announcement we made earlier today.

Frank Yallop (former LA Galaxy Coach) will be our new Head Coach!

Tomorrow at 12:00 P.M. we will be holding an open press conference in our new office building. Please join us if you are available!

Earthquakes Soccer LLC

451 El Camino Real, Suite 220

Santa Clara, CA 95050

Thanks,

Alexa Jontulovich

Earthquakes Soccer LLC

Disappointment ... averted

If you can imagine, this is Miss Jill Doing her sleeping dog.. or flat footed mongoose. (something like that)..
Its a yoga move.. Ok, she is almost 2.. I am 34 and would need the jaws of life to get out of this position.

This weekend, I went up to SF to babysit Miss Jill.. Had a blast. We watched the ROAST of Grover.. We sat side by side on the couch.. LOVED the movie.. Complete surprise ending.. (Don't worry I won't spoil it for you!!)

We went off to bed at 8:30, but didn't fall asleep until like 930! She peepee'd 3 times in the potty.. YEAH .. and she has this weird obsession with saying no..

The whole thing about teaching her no, was a bad idea..

"Jill put your shirt on." "no"

"Jill time to go to bed" "no"

"Jill let Mi Mi's nose go" "no"

hmph. She has turned into such a sweet, kewl little girl.. Personally, I think its my intervention.. Just think, if I wasn't around, she would have never seen COPS.. (the horror of it all)

Earlier in the day, Shan and I went to Farleys to see the pics of Jill and Mo that were to be displayed from the previous weeks photo booth experience. As soon as we walked up to the store front, we could see Jilly's little smiling face. She was predominantly displayed on the inside wall.. She was the center of a bunch of other photog's. Shan pointed out a bunch of pics of the kids she knew.. Hudson and Aimee's kids.. blah blah blah.. WHERE was MO? I was beyond disappointed. Mo would be heart broken. I scanned and rescanned the walls inside the coffee house... nothing....His big break.. and he was left out? I asked the hipster doofus behind the counter if any additional photos would be added to the show. He said, no..This was all of them. HMPH. damn it. As we were leaving, we noticed that there were a few pictures displayed on the outside.. Kind of the ultra fab .. center piece pics.. I was so sad, no Mo. Then Shan, who was a few steps ahead of me, looked back at me with a big grin. There was MO.. a STAR! for everyone to see.. Not only the peeps that went in the store.. BUT EVERY BODY WHO PASSED BY!! He was Out front! woo hoo.. Go Mo.

Mr Mocha Latte Jet Almeida will be taking requests for interviews. Please call his management team.

So, kiddies....

If you did your homework, you know that Naked is THE best movie EVER made. EVER EVER EVER. David Thewlis is a GOD! Here is a little tease for you naughty ones who haven't watched it yet!





P.S. I am not bored

Oasis LIED

Earthquake centered in my mo fo city

Um, I justified getting my cell phone for "emergency" calls.. Even though I am lame and talk way too much, it is essentially FOR that.. right? So, how come when I am home all alone with the kids (MIL doesn't count) my phone doesn't work for shit? More bars in more areas? HA! Oasis chimes in the advertisement ..."all around the world.. spread the word..." blah blah blah.. I can't even call down the mo fo street

OMFG!

Forget LOL.. that is totally 2006 .. and hello?!?!? we are well into 2007.. The latest catch abreve is...(drum roll) OMFG! or to the lame asses out there, Oh My F'ing God! I actually caught myself saying this to myself when I took a gander at this Photog (another cool word)
I first saw Mr Johnathan in Matchpoint. He is TOTALLY hot in it and I considered taking up tennis for like a second.. (literally, but a second is huge for tennis.. I hate tennis) ANYWAYS,
I should have called this entry vocab with moosie, cuz I have one more word to describe mr hottie.. and thats SAUCY. Love that word.. David Thewlis says it a bunch of times in my fav movie, Naked. Homework tonight kiddies, put it on your Netflix list.. There will be a test in the morning.

Mo is a star!

On Saturday, I took Mocha Latte to San Francisco to participate in a pet parade. My little Mocha was so happy to be out on the town and to have the chance to visit with cousin Jilly, but Mo was less then impressed with the common pooch that littered the streets of San Fran. Mo had his photo taken with a famed photog and will most likely be gracing the pages of the photog's latest book... Isn't Mo precious in his Halloween costume? Yeah..Yeah.. totally predictable costume..ugh

Mental note 1: san fran hills are a bitch
Mental note 2: fan of blog checked out ass to determine if black pants could fit other girl.. (I SAW YOU) hmph

Jet Update From Chris

HO HO HO...well it's not Christmas yet...but it's close enough eh? So, loyal Jet minions, what has jolly old Saint Nic got in his erm, well...it's only October, so forget Santa, and on with the news;

We've all given ourselves %100 pay cuts, which means we are all fired.

Not really, actually, we've just decided to take some well earned time off. After touring for, well, ever, for Shine On, we sat ourselves down and realised that with all the time we have spent away from home, Jet could finally use some down time. Fingers crossed, nobody dies this time, and we can all try and make pasta. Or something. What do people when they are at home? Any Ideas? Let's get pro-active about this people. We could call it "TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE" like in Shiny Mag. I suppose we should watch television. Feed the cat. I suppose I could always go and have a shower. After 4 years, maybe it's time. See...people think we don't shower. Not true. We just don't press our suits, or comb our hair. Well, Cam does...but it suits him, no...actually that was all a lie...his hair is just straight. I don't understand it and i don't expect YOU to, it's been confusing me for years now. WTF?

Nic is writing new songs. Haven't heard em yet...but can't wait. He's actually playing a fancy gig soon too, just him and an acoustic guitar someplace in ye olde Melbourne. I think he's playing Jet songs. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few covers in there too...but that's just me, and what would would I know? If you can get there...go. I doubt it will be a regular occurrence and I might even go myself? Wait a second, is he going solo? *Reaches for the phone* "Get me my lawyer" ect...

Cam is in a writing cocoon. No-one has seen him for weeks. All matter of writing actually, the boy just can't stop himself. He needs to chill out, wait...is he going solo too? WTF? Cam, Nic...what's going on here? No, he's doing some extra non Jet related writing, but that's not for me to say...it's a Muncey surprise and I'm sure you'll hear about it one day soon. I've heard some of his new Jet tunes though when we were up in Alice Springs...and they are very exciting!

Mark and I have been busy becoming producers! Well, that is to say, we have produced our first band, under the name "The Vice Lords". We produced one song together in Sydney for a Japanese band called 'Superfly'. The song is called 'I spy, I spy' and I don't know how it will be available out west, but someone will let you know as soon as we know. It features the vocal and drum stylings of myself, in a duet with their lead singer, little Japanese singer with a crackin' voice, who goes by the name of Shiho. Also features the synth and bass stylings of Mark Andrew Wilson. We ended up writing many new parts for the tune...what a trip that was...check it out if you can, it's not Jet...but it's sounding pretty mega. I've also been writing my ass off...lot's of new tunes...can't stop me suckers!

So, looking back on this page, I see that we aren't really on a break at all! Well, I guess some people don't know how to take a break. The good news is that everyone is in high spirits and that the time off has left us with big grins and pockets full of songs. Keep it cool my babies...i'll be checking in soon...

When there is nothing on the tele

Chris and Nic.. Look at those baby blues.. sigh

I cruise the net for pics of Nickey-baby..Please forgive my obsession, dear reader. But I can't help it.. he is so mo fo HOT! I get this weird need to lick him all over..

Seriously...

How can you not get all tingley in your naughty bits for this major hottie?

The ONLY thing better...

Then being where ever these boys are headed, is being on the other end of that call Nic is making...(note cell in Nic's right hand) (heavy sigh)

Meggie's dream encounter

If I popped into this alley and saw this little pow wow .....

First I'd let out a yelp..
then I'd probably pee myself...
then I'd pass out.

For the record, my Va Jay Jay is normal size, thank you

Not something I am use to

Rejection, that is.
My 2nd attempt at becoming Stevie's friend was declined. The little bugger.

Here is my email to him after being thrown to the curb, again!

I do have a bit of a fragile ego, Stevie. 2 failed attempts at being your friend. Hmm. Oh well.. I must now retreat with my tail between my legs. Even though you DENIED me, I do want you to know that I do adore you... And your contribution to Jet is amazing.... I am and will always love Jet.. and thank you for being a part of it all. A fan, not a friend. :( Meghan

And I can tell he read it.. he didn't even respond. HOW RUDE. who raised him, wolves? At least be polite, man. A nice, thank you, would have been appropriate...



Special note to Stevie: I do love you. And apparently, when you aren't available they have technical difficulties.. I don't think its a coincedence. Be my friend for F sake!

Nervous Breakdown

Today, at work.. I was riding the elevator up with this girl. We work in the same office, but I really don't know her all that well. To be honest with you, I don't even know her name.
As soon as the doors closed, she turned to me and said, "You know, I have been meaning to ask you where you get your black pants.. I can only find the shiny ones.. and I really like your's"
I was mortified. I said..."Target. I got them at Target." She kept talking and all I kept doing was muttering.."Target.. got em at Target.."

OK.. I have to tell you WHY I was mortified, this girl .. who is African American has a GIGANTIC BUTT! huge! She seems super nice, but I have such a fragile ego, the idea that she thought she could get into my pants, at first OFFENDED me and then it scared the crap out of me.
Now, I was a MILITANT atkins girl .. and I would eat little to no carbs. I have softened on this rule.. and therefore I have softened.. (literally) But my butt is NOT NOT Gynormous.. hmph.


I will re-enlist.. Private Meggie reporting for Atkins duty, sir!

Quick story.. Quick story.. (ala Johnny Fratto)

So, I was drinving to San Francisco on Saturday .. and I was behind an obviously STUPID macheeeesmo man.. with his pimped out ride .. spinny hubcaps, darkened windows.. blah blah blah.. ANYWAYS, I got totally pissed because on several occasions the traffic ahead of him would slow down, and he would slam on his breaks miles and miles behind the car in front of him.. GRRR.. I got testy.. The OLD Meghan would swear and cause a raucous.. The new improved me, well dare I say, is starting a trend. The typical respose to such an A hole driver, is to flip the bird. BUT the drivers of these hoopites get agitated and it just creates more issues.. What I did was visionary.. and ALL women should do this.. It really diffused the whole situation and dare I say I have a new admirer..

Step 1:



Step 2:



Step 3:

intertwine the 2..

long live the cooter lick.. the cure for road rage!

I lied.. One more..

OK.. If I was cheese, and had to make a sandwich, I'd sure be all tingley in my naughty bits if these fellas were the bread... YUMM.. YUMM.. Screw atkins! I would eat EVERY bite!!!

(let me spell it out for you....)

Chris
Meghan
Nic





AND...
If good morning america had shit like this, I would get my ass outta bed to watch it.. NO.. we get Bruce Springsteen or some stupid crap like that...

Last one... I promise

Well, for tonight anyways.. It is kinda fun going on to You Tube and being a little detective.. and hunting out these GEMS.. Nic as a wee boy.. (like 21 or 22) he looks so sweet... Seriously, how can you NOT love him? Or at least want to lick those mo fo hOT lips ;) OH WAIT! I DID!

Can't forget.....

To give You Tube Kudos!

Aussie TV is SO kewl...

MORE behind the scenes?? Ooh this is creepy....

Flashback.....

This is the actual commercial that introduced me to JET.. Before THIS commercial, I was a "JET" virgin.. Have to pay homage to the peeps at apple.

Nic on the Brain

Had this amazing REALLY REAL.. dream last night. Got invited backstage at a Jet show.. Had to walk through the band room.. and I spied Nic and Chris.. and the GIRLFRIENDS.. hmph.. kept walking. and went into a waiting area.. Nic came in and we started making out.. and we spent the night together.. He had to go early in the AM.. and I tried to take one of his shirts to remember him by.. Cuz I kinda knew it was a one time thing.. and we parted..

And then the next day, at school (hm?) on my desk, was this huge envelope with a love letter from Nic.. and his luggage..

What does it mean?


And today, I found THIS lil GEM. Tour bus vids.. woo hoo..

Slap in the face

When Al Gore stepped aside and allowed George Bush to wrongfully take the office of President, a horrible cloud has plagued this country. I look, with hope, at the 2008 election, thinking that the morons (love you mom) that voted for Bush have come out of their fog and seen the light.. THEN an exchange like this happens:

Papa Pony, my father's father, often sends out group emails to anyone and everyone he knows .. Basically they are big BUSH Orgies.. "Bush is so smart.. " "Bush is so great" .. BLAH BLAH BLAH..

I was feeling particularly spicey one evening, and decided to respond.... (BAD IDEA)

I quoted text from his BUSH love email:

" They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders."

And simply asked him, Didn't we elect Al Gore?

His response SOON followed:
YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND> ALL YOUR LIBERAL NEWSPAPERS WENT DOWN THERE TO FIND FAULTS WITH THE ELECTION AND COULD NOT FIND ANYTHING.
WROUNG.YOU PEOPLE WILL MOST LIKELY GET WHAT YOU WANT IN THE NEXT ELECTION BECAUSE OF SOROS AND ALL HIS MONEY.THIS WILL BE THE DEATH OF THE USA AS I KENW It.AND YOU DEMOCRATS WILL HAVE TO LIOVE WITH IT.

I am pretty sure he knows CAPS mean yelling.. and the MANY grammatical and spelling errors tells me he was POUNDING on his keyboard.. WOW.. lil ol me made the ol man HOT!

My reply:

Papa Pony, Its me, Meghan! Can't we all just get along?
You have to be horrified at the way that George W Bush has ruined this country.. We are a laughing stock .. Why should we run the world by being a bully.. DO IT MY WAY!! OR ELSE!! We need to step back and listen to THE REAL president Al Gore about what is really important.. NOT WHO CONTOLS THE OIL.. but how we can repair the earth..

I agree Bill Clinton was a horn dog.. but I would rather that he screw Monica, then the country..

Doesn't any of the reports about being led into this war with lies make any sense to you?

Loven you forever,
Meggie

I am pretty much out of the will for sure now, huh?

I love you, You love me.. We're a happy family.

Every now and again I peruse the many peeps on myspace.. you know my EXTENDED NETWORK.. I have requested that the lovely Stevie Paul Hesketh be my friend (I only know his name because Nic loves to introduce him.. favorite part of the show.. blah blah blah) The first time, he denied me. And I believe it was because my photo was one of me and Nic. This might have totally turned him off.. he probably thought I was a stalker or something .. (the nerve) (mental note: Nic might have not broken news our new hot love to band, must keep on the down low ;) ) ANYWAYS, I requested his friendship.. again.. In hopes of keeping in touch with the Jet-lings while they are on break.. (In a total non-stalker way! remember we decided on penetrator!!!) While I noticed he STILL has not responded, I took a look at his photo and really forgot how funny IT was and how funny HE is.. It is, for all intensive purposes .. A picture of Stevie and Puff Daddy.. Or P Diddy.. or baby mama.. what ever he is going by now.. And he took this picture in such a way .. well, that I would have taken it!!!! I love these guys.. (even the red headed step children!!)

Greta and Bill Rock.

Greta van Susteren sat down with former President Bill Clinton to discuss his best-selling new book, Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World. In the course of the interview the President told the audience about a site where anyone can participate in financing micro-businesses in developing countries through small donations that act as seed money. The unique element of this site is that it is possible for each donor to meet the business owner through online photos and updates. Once the business has paid back the loan, the original donation is returned or can be invested in another business. Check it out. Go to www.kiva.org.








My Lender page:
http://www.kiva.org/lender/meghan8992

Thrive? HA!

Let me put it out on the table, here, dear reader.. Kaiser sucks. Sucks amazingly huge.. BIG time. I HATE them, yet I must have them .. they are the only affordable health care that my company offers.. HMPH.

I had/have a sore throat and believe/believed it to be strep or some sort of infection that would need the intervention of meds. SO, I called the "advice nurse" who said it is either a cold or strep.. and I would need to come in for a strep swab. SO, I went in for my throat swab, where the nurse gasped, EW! your throat is swole.. THANKS... I was then told by a lab person (You will soon understand why I say person and don't commit to a gender...OK, the person had a mustache and was wearing a peach colored blouse.. The blouse had a flouncy neck line..dare I say POOFY ......) that my results would be available in 24 hours.. RESULTS????? I didn't exactly feel comfortable with this lab person reading my test results, as he/she was obviously confused about themselves... UGH.. AND what was I suppose to do for the next 24 hours.. every time I swallowed, it was as if I was taking in razor blades.. I couldn't imagine what I would do..

I got home and got completely liquefied on NyQuil. God Love the stuff..
The next day, I got an email.. (the bastards didn't even call) to say that my test came back negative. I was confused. OK, It isn't strep, but I am still in excruciating pain.. Um, HELLO?? So, I called the advice nurse again.. I got on the phone with the witchy witch .. I explained that my test came back negative, but something must be wrong as I was still sick.. and seemed to be getting worse.. I already paid $10 for my first visit and I just wanted meds, damn it. At first she suggested I go in for the strep test.. wait, HELLO? I explained that I ALREADY did that.. then she said I should go see a doctor at the urgent care center. (another $10) hmph. I agreed as I could not handle the agony of it all anymore. When I showed up at Urgent Care at my appointment time (Doesn't that sound ridiculous?) I was told to sit and wait. ok. They called me in once and took my vitals, but then sat me out in the waiting room again for at least 30 minutes. (why make mo fo appointments?? ) They finally called me in the exam room.. where i sat for another 45 minutes.. I was seriously going to lay on the bed and go to sleep.. I was more then pissed. as soon as the dude came in,
I explained to him that my throat culture came back negative ("Yes, I saw that on your chart..") blah blah blah blah.. I told the whole story.. As soon as I was done he peaked in my ears, my throat (the culture lady looked farther) and said he thinks it is a cold, but if it would make me feel better I could take a test for Strep.. HUH? Um, Doctor?? I told you, and you indicated that you read that I already had that test.. He laughed.. hahaha overworked.. Blah blah blah .. he gave me a prescription for Flonase.. and sent me on my way?? ALLERGY MEDS? I was so beyond pissed.. I wasted 10.00 and a bunch of my time.. and this loser didn't even give me the time of day..

HMPH.. In my haste, I found http://justendeal.com/blog/ .. a blogger dedicated to the evils of kaiser.. love justendeal hate kaiser- they are sons of bitches.

I MUST be insane....

I love you, Pam. RIP

.........& then there is Mo

(or shall I say Dorothy.. Hey, where is To To?)

Where has the time gone?

Seriously...

This little baby monkey was abandoned by his mom .. and this bird became the foster mom...

birds rock

ALTHOUGH.. I seem to remember flying SCARY ASS monkAs in the wizard of oz.. Maybe this bird is like an Alqaeda bird.. and he is recruiting the poor lil monkey ...

Um, thongs?

The purple sateeeeeen blouse is weird..

mental note:HUGE feet..


(thank goodness he has at least one more pair.. I am sick of those bloody brown suede boots!)

My dorkiness continues to flourish

And even though Chris Cester's girlfriend denied my friendship request (It was possibly the creepy pic of me and Nic as my avistar).. She did reply to my email..

From: Meghan
To: Alexi
Date: Sep 1, 2007 8:24 PM
Re: Curious...

Kind of following your career ..in a not on purpose kind of way.

I was just wondering if that was you in the Old Navy jeans ad.. You looked beautiful..Amazing actually..

xo

From: Alexi
To: Meghan
Date: Sep 1, 2007 9:45 PM
Re: Re: Curious

nope, not me.....i must have a twin! xo

__________________


(Just in case you were wondering I know I am lame.. BUT she gave me HUGS & KISSES )

I am a People person..If you know me, you are separated from Alexi Lalas...by 1!!! I know, kewl!

Hello Old friend,

Next weekend, my sister and I are DRIVING to LA to see the Dynamo POUNCE the Galaxy. We initially were gung ho about going to see Beckham play. We know he is injured, but would like to know if he will be on the bench. The drool factor would still be at a premium!

Much Love,

Peace out.

Meghan
AKA Brian Ching Stalker

-----Original Message-----
From: Alexi Lalas
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 9:59 AM
To: , MEGHAN
Subject: RE: Dear Friend!

He will not be on the bench, he will be in the stadium.

-----Original Message-----
From: ,MEGHAN
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 10:00 AM
To: 'Alexi Lalas'
Subject: RE: Dear Friend!

Thanks for the info..

Please don’t be offended if I cannot wish your team well.. For, if its one thing I know, I hate LA.

Meghan

Made up of 50% piss / 50% vinegar

Well, I sent Pa the email .. and weeks went by without a reply. I was a little pissed, but found out he was traveling (hmph) and he doesn't check his email on the road..
A week or so ago, I knew he was home because I started to get the annoying CHAIN emails that he insists on forwarding .. They are more often then not crap about how wonderful Bush is.. Now lest you believe Pa is a free wheeling sexual beast, he is referring to the Bush of the ass variety ..not the muff!!! Anyways, as the days went by I became increasingly irritated that my Pa didn't even consider responding to my email.. I got nothing.. I ended up writing the most scathing letter about how sorry I was that I didn't own horses or live on tropical islands like other family members.. and if he just gave me the time of day he might find my company valuable.. Just as I was about to send the email, my computer crashed.. Just as well, I thought.. It was late and I needed to go to sleep. The VERY next day I got an email from Pa.. acknowledging my letter with some stupid quip about winning the lotto or some thing... God must know how close I am to teetering off the edge ..and being completely disowned.. But you know, who cares, F him anyways.

If he says no, F him too.

So Pa Pa,

Did you get to my email? You know the one about needing to use you for cheap rent? It would be incredibly wonderful for you to come through for me in this situation. I have been a relatively good kid.. quiet grandkid.. Now its my turn to holler and scream.

to recap: property down here you can let me use or could you buy me a house/townhouse/condo/ (gulp)mobile home ..

I figure you are going to outlive us all.. so, I would appreciate my inheritance now.. when I could really use it.

Much love,
Meggers

Vid review by meggers

Bring it on Back

Love the video.. A few things I would like to comment on:

• Nic stalks good
• When I first saw this video, I literally gasped when he opened the door..
• When Nic and I kissed he did NOT open his mouth :(
• Nic is super sexy on the bed
• I would totally let him play with my hair
• I would love to have a pillow fight with him
• No way could I sit indian style with him on a bed and not rub up all over him
  
• He looks way sexy in a car
• when he grabs the girl playing me in the video, its way hot
• Chris opens his mouth a lot when he is drumming..
  

Are you a JET Virgin?

This is the prefect "FIRST TIME" song..

I am too kewl for words.

There is an ultra-fab, way AWESOME web site out there..completely devoted to EVERYTHING Jet:

JetBrasil.com

I have spent hours and hours looking at the pictures.. watching the videos and reading the interviews. They also have this kewl section where bootlegs are available of a few of the LIVE shows.. My IPOD and I are now inseparable!!

Anyways, Today.. as I was scanning the site..

WHAT DID MY EYES SEE?

ME!!!

There, in full color, was my meaty wrist.. showcasing my Shine On tattoo! I couldn't believe it.. I am famous! GO ME! I am so excited! I think Letterman or Leno will be calling to book me soon! I will keep you posted!

I LIT-TER-ROLL-LEE love Chris, too..

Just not with a white hot passion.. like the love I have for Nic. But Chris is WAY cute, too.

Turn in your votes, please!

For the World's finest ass..

And the nominee.. (yes, only one is in the running.. It wouldn't be fair.. I mean look at those thighs!!)

I want to take a bite out of that ass!

If only...

I was that wee pic... (heavy sigh)

burping.. swearing .. and dumping? The mystique' might be OVER ..

I kid, but seriously.. I don't need to know about his F'ing dumping and burping.. ew

hmph

I started having a breakdown.. Having the biggest head in the free world is not a distinction I am proud of.. I got to looking for pictures of me where I am not being orbited..It may surprise you, but I was hard pressed to find one.. Is there any new cosmetic procedures that can help?!?!? Head reduction has got to be a serious problem that many mongo headed people want addressed, right? I shall write Dr 90210.. :(



The evidence.. the horror..

Here is the deal

I am 34.
mid-life if I live to 68.
kinda scary.
I got to get my shit together.
Have to make everything mean something.
you know?

Rare glimpse into meg-ville

I kissed THESE fab lips.. SIGH

I am a TARD. Did you know the second time I met Nic , I was so drunk.. I had a GOOD time at the show and when I stayed around after the show.. I asked the lead singer of BloodCatLove to send Nic out.. AND HE DID. I almost peed my pants..his little head is pressed up so close to mine.. I mean this dude has been my total obsession.. And I wanted to meet him, So, I did. I guess I am a pretty driven person... Well, a driven mental patient. There are several other shots that are stashed way far away into the depths of my computer.. I can't even look at them because I look like such a dork... HAHAHA Is it my imagination, or is my head gynormous? It almost looks like his little head is orbiting my head.. :(

Alanis, THIS is Ironic!

The other day, I was driving to see my baby, Jill..
As I was speeding down the highway ...I came across this lil gem.
In the Caddy was a hipster dufus with a Coach hat cocked to the side.. Mariah Carey sunglasses on.. and the "thump-thump" was coming out of his trunk trunk..
As he sped past me, he shot me a "I AM SO COOL" glance.. HMPH!
Then I noticed something, If you look close, the window decal in his back window, is apparently for his viewing pleasure.. The mo fo put it in backwards.. um, d'oh.
I laughed out loud.. (to you computer geeks, I LOL'd)




THEN, Same day.. Sister and Jill in the back.. and this A Hole cut me off. I found humor again in the fact that as I was reading his bumper sticker about performing random acts of kindness, he flipped me the bird.. and then when I noticed the other sticker about his proud participation in keeping the world green, a HUGE ass cloud of black smoke came out of his pick up.

Am I the only sane person left in the world.. scary thought, eh?

A new feature

I am considering making a special blog just for the people who get on my last nerve...


SPECIAL PREVIEW

List member #1

Cheryl D

I call her river rat.. Apparently her family loads up the pick-up and travels to the rivers edge .. She says they have loads of summer time fun.. (I don't get it either) ANYWAYS.. Today she threw me under the bus at work. I had the perfect opportunity to skate through the day.. But she said I could take on more work.. and I am under utilized .. or something about good multi tasker.. or some stupid shit.. hmph.



List member #2

Dion L

Dion insists that my horrific allergies are all in my head. And he lubes up his entire body several times a day with this body butter that has olive oil in it. I am allergic to 2 things.. DOGS and OLIVE OIL. Because I don't sneeze he thinks I am a drama queen and making it up. The headache and full sinuses are just a figment of my imagination..

(ok.. I know you are wondering about the picture. He and another fellow borrowed my camera to take some shots to help design a new tattoo.. and I guess thats the spot for it. Personally I think there might be something more spicey going on with those two.)

You've come a long way baby!

Under consideration...

This is my work lover, Nic.. Kind of ironic.. him being named Nic and all.. well, he would be more into Nic then me.. but I am going to beat him down until I can have my way with him.

Mental Note: Dont allow him to wear weird feather hat out in public.

An example of how things are going...

SO, as you know, I decided to risk a huge amount of money...($20) on a gambling site to see if lady luck was spending a few days at my house.. Not only did I lose my $20, I got a letter in the mail today.. Basically it said that there was a breach in the gambling site's security system and I was one of the unlucky one's who information was stolen. It advised me that I was most likely going to be the victim of identity theft.. And I should take the necessary steps to protect my identity.

You know what? If those mo fo cyber thieves want to steal my identity, I say GO FOR IT! I haven't had much luck with it.. let me know how it goes!

powder, is that you?

Create your Gizmoz and audition to star in a Taco Bell TV commercial!

One Degree BABY!

For some reason, MY SPACE has always been tainted. I always seem to catch some news story of a partially nude body found in a ditch. Some poor sweet girl ... lured by a dirty old man ... promises of love if the 12 year old got on a bus to travel cross country.

All she would find is a stack of BARELY LEGAL'S and a huge vat of vaseline..

BUT I DIGRESS....

When Jet started to seriously market their 2nd album, I got wind that they had a JET THE BAND My Space page. I tried to investigate the site, but quickly discovered that the MO FO's who control My Space, make you JOIN to have access to the GOOD stuff. (little buggers).. So, I reluctantly joined. I created a BARE ASS page ..Just enough to get me in the door. I was satisfied with this access for some time.. That is until I saw that NIC had his own page.. I freaked.. (as a 14 year old would.. even though I am NOT 14) and I immediately added pictures.. and just funny lil quirks about me... And then I asked Nic to be my friend..

As you know he accepted and I was delighted.. BLAH BLAH BLAH.. Come to find out it is a FAKE page.. and I professed my love to some moron.. ANYWAYS.. I decided to keep up with my lil page and I started meeting a lot of kewl people who like Jet, too. And to not have my experience on the site be in vain, I started the six degrees of separation game.. I have done my best to get as close to Nic as humanly possible.. (Purely in a penetrator type fashion.. in NO way stalkerish :) )

Let's see...I have a mate of a mate... a cousin.. and my piece DE resistance' .. a younger brother...All are my cyber friends.

Now, just between you and me, the brother is my favorite friend.. BUT in all honesty, I cannot stand the "music" he makes.. and he is technically JAIL BAIT (like 15 or 16) .. BUT that makes me and Nic 1 degree separated, right? I mean the only thing better would like to be right on top of the man.. WHICH I would be SO into!

Stigma with stalking

Nic getting purty

In the good old days, when a young girl fell head over heels for a HOT, SWEATY rock star...It was charming.
NOW.. lawyers get involved.. restraining orders are served.. hmph!
I don't want to be associated with STALKING or stalkers at all! Have to make a distinction..
I am now on a mission to rename my love for Nic.. I got a thesaurus..and here are the contenders..

• penetrator


• chaser


• pursue-er


• lust-er after his hot lil bod


• cultivator of hot monkey love with him (of course)


• charmer

I kinda fancy being Nic's penetrator.. (tee hee) My sister says I could get a strap on..whatever does she mean?

..............................to be continued.

RIP

Stupid ass people

There is this "person" who keeps texting me really bad ..awful texts .. she/he wont answer her/his phone.. I don't want to block the texting on my phone.. but I want to make him/her stop.. can someone/anyone/everyone bombard her/him with calls.. kinda like the GIRLNEEDSHELP army.. The number is 408-799-4316
I would OWE you. I am on day 2 of my billing cycle and this person has used almost 2/3rds of my allotted texts..

"......dont mess with the bull, youngman, you will get stuck on the horns..."

SHAME ON YOU MICHAEL VICK!

This is SO hard to look at..

But this is the reality of what this ASSHOLE does.

If there is ANY justice in this world,
this MONSTER will burn in HELL.

pigs suck

Dear Mayor Newsom,

I was HORRIFIED to hear about the recent accident that involved the "Goats-R-US" truck. Apparently, more then 1/2 of the goats died because police officers refused to allow the goats to be released in fear of a traffic jam. The police were advised that a herding dog would prevent such an incident.. but the police didnt listen. I believe who ever was involved in the decision to allow these animals to parish should be brought up on some sort of disciplinary action. Something MUST be done for the senseless loss of life..

Hey, your purty..

I appreciate and encourage random acts of flirtation. It makes me feel hot and leaves me thinking that I still might have "it" ...

You know... The hot young cashier who cards me when I try and buy liquor....
or the hot fellow at Home Depot who goes out of his way to load the dirty dirty sod.. as to not mess up my outfit... (tee hee)

Hmph.. I must tell you, What happened to me today has literally devastated my little ego.

As I left for work this morning, I realized I was running rather low on gasoline. I HATE to be anywhere near the red "E" line, so I hightailed it over to the closest station. I got out, put the hose in the tank and sat in my car as it filled up...
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a disheveled looking man at the entrance of the gas stations market.. He had on acid washed jeans that were horribly dirty and a gigantic 1980's Doctor Cosby sweater..He seemed to make contact with every person that came into and out of the store.. I assumed he was asking for change.. I kept my eye on him, to make sure if he charged me.. I could lock myself in the car. Just then, the gas finished filling and I got out of the car to return the hose and close up my tank.. In the blink of an eye, the homeless dude was crossing the parking lot and heading my way.. I kind of freaked a little but found comfort in the fact that the station was crowded with early morning commuters.. Just as he reached me, he asked if we had met before.. I shook my head no, and began to think if I had a dollar or two to shew this guy away.. Just as I thought I was going to get the sad story, you know.. I have no job ... my mommy didn't love me... blah blah blah... he asked if I was married..(HUH? What does this have to do with spare change?)This MAN asked if I wanted his phone number.. (what number the payphone on the corner??) He saw me checking him out and wanted to know if we could get together... I instantly thought that Ashton must be hiding in the bushes or something.. This must be some huge joke. What about me said that a homeless mental patient would be a "catch" for me? Do I look that shitty?

HUGE blow to the ego.

Must start to work out and pay more attention to shoe selection. mental note: No more Star Jones collection! Men think I am cheap and do-able.

P.S. My "friend" at work told me I now know how Nic Cester feels about me when I stalk him.. HMPH

caliente hombre alert!

You know, before I was completely obsessed with Jet, I did have OTHER interests. I imagine I will have to rediscover them.. being that Jet's tour is officially OVER... and there is no chance they will reappear on the west coast for a surprise show (sigh).. so, anways back to the other hobbies.. I used to be SO obsessed with Brian Ching and the San Jose Earthquakes (soccer, baby!!) Butthe SOB's at AEG (owners) moved the team to Houston. I still follow them, but not as OCD'ish...

Earlier in the soccer season it was annoumced that the VERY hot David Beckham would be joinging the LA Galaxy. Now I hate the Galaxy.. HATE HATE HATE them. They are the arch rival of my Houston boys and my sworn enemy!!!

But, in all honesty, that HOT piece of ass has me a bit moist.. and reconsidering my white hot hatred.. You be the judge.. (Posh is so cute!!! And the SPICE girls are getting back together for a tour.. We have to go bitches!!!)

The prize patrol won't be making any stops at my shack..

My mom thinks that I am going through a mid-life crisis.
She says I am realizing that my aspirations to change the world might not come true. hmph. I disagree. I am a little slow out of the gate, is all. I do agree I am in a crisis mode right now.. but not for the predictable reasons..
I won't be getting a fast sports car.. or date my hot secretary.. quite the contrary.. I see my life is in chaos and out of control and I am going to grasp it and take control.
My last hoo-rah in the world of chaos was experienced over the weekend. In my head, I thought the only way to win a million was to actually put some cash on the line. How was I to win the lotto without a ticket,per say. SO, I went on a gaming site and played blackjack and roulette.. and quickly LOST my entire POT. (no worries it was only $20.) I am going to have to live my life the hard way.. and earn my rewards.. I guess I will appreciate them more... Right?