Me ma

impromptu photo shoot prior to the surgery.
Ma was less then pleased

YUP, I have been MIA for awhile. Its primarily because me ma needed me. I was being the dutiful daughter and tending to her. I ain't like those normal white chicks that stick their ma in a home. We Irish keep them around forever... She is all set for the mylar balloon.. (inside joke) Anyways, me ma FINALLY had eye surgery. She has been living in a cataract haze for several years now. Love the woman to death.. but today on the ride home from getting her patch off, she had to comment on everything. Like a fricken toddler. She read every sign and commented on every color .. GREEN.. WOW.. IS THAT SNOW ON THE MOUNTAINS??? LOOK AT THAT! WOW! YELLOW! COOL!

Give me a break.. I haven't had enough coffee today....
and besides it JUST occurred to me that this BLIND ass woman has been driving during her haze.. why is she excited about seeing green? Has she not seen a stop light.. GOD ALMIGHTY!

p.s. ma is a-ok

poor Jiji.

The other day, my poor lil monkey fell on her FACE and chipped a tooth. Luckily, her mom took her to the dentist and they were able to fix it.. Here is a photog of her sad lil face prior to the visit with the dentist.

A sad day

Dear Friend,

Let me start by saying, "Thank you." You have stood with Elizabeth and me throughout this campaign. Your support has sustained us as we have traveled across this country.

Earlier today, I suspended my campaign for the Democratic nomination for the presidency. I made this announcement from where our journey began just over 12 months ago: New Orleans.

I began my presidential campaign in New Orleans to remind the country that all of us -- as citizens and as a government -- have a moral responsibility to each other, and what we do together matters.

Now, it's time for me to step aside so that history can blaze its path. We do not know who will take the final steps to the White House -- but what we do know is that our Democratic Party will make history.

And, along the way, all of you who have been involved in this campaign and this movement for change and this cause, I am asking you to continue speaking out for those who have no voice, just as Elizabeth and I will continue to do. We need you.

Do not turn away from the great struggles before us. Do not give up on the causes that we have fought for. Do not walk away from what's possible, because it's time for all of us -- all of us together -- to make the two Americas one. We need you.

I hope you will take a few moments to listen to the video clip of my speech in New Orleans earlier this afternoon or to read it below.

In the meantime, Elizabeth and my family join me in thanking all of you for your support and for working so hard on my behalf. We are truly blessed to have such friends.

Thank you.

John Edwards
January 30, 2008

Poor lil mo

My little Mochito has a stuffed red monster from IKEA. It is gotten to that nasty phase where it reeks and is all madded.. I went to IKEA to get him a new one. All I could find was a stuffed rat . I thought he would LOVE it.. He played with it ALL Night.. As I got into bed.. this is what I found.. Lil Mo with BIG RED. My lil baby cakes. What kind of mother am I? How could I think I could replace his woobie?

dear reader....

I appreciate your concern.. but the previous entry should not be shown to my doctors as proof that the cocktail I am currently on needs to be shaken and stirred.

Yes, I am on my meds. No, I do not meed more.

It must be blatantly clear that it is a doctored photo.. I was having a lil fun. JEESH.
I don't have the patience nor a bad ass photo shop program that could do a better job.. I needed a little story to get the lady juices flowing... My turbo powered rabbit needs a little help... it isn't a miracle worker!
p.s. It could totally happen, though. I mean one look at me and Mark would be all into my bizness!

Taking the sting out of the story

I wasn't sure how I would address this. I have made it clear in the past that I do, in fact, want to be Nic Cester's girl.. Yet, he continues to ask.. over and over via song....

(actual lyrics from song)
Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.

Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?

This photo will not help the situation. I do admit I got a little drunk--- and I was excited about the prospect of Mark Wilson's (Bassist for Jet) tongue in my mouth.. But, Nic.. this is as far as it went. I am only human.

Happy 42nd dear Husband!

Victor is 42 today.. and I am so kick ass.. My gifts to him were:

1. An Asian porno
2. A book of lesbian erotica
3. a lifelike version of Tara Patrick's vibrating beav..

Enjoy may darling.

Relieved of my duties?

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of babysitting the best baby ever! No, I am not biased.. well, I am her aunt and I could see how I might be expected to think such things..but I am not even exaggerating in the least about this little girl.. LOVE HER!

The day started out pretty well, my sister and I took Jill to the carousel for a few rides on the lion. (She loves the lion) .. Then we made a few stops to pick up a few things.. and then we returned to her home so she could get ready for her big night out with her hubby .. and baby daddy, Frank.
As soon as they left, we had dinner.. and had an ultra fab conversation about Mr Potato Head and the need for loads of salt on a hard boiled egg..We watched Toy Story.. and then I took her off to bed. Everything went picture perfect.. Until, that is, I stepped into the potty to change into my lounge wear, and I didnt hear her cries.."Mimi! Mimi!" This must have freaked her out, because she was in tears when I found her at the door of the bathroom.. which just melted my heart.. So, needless to say .. when my sister and Frank got home (12:30am).. there newly tattooed, highly charged baby was still awake. It might have had something to do with an ill advised late piece of chocolate.. But come one Frank.. That baby means the world to me.. and just because we danced the night away to Engelbert Humberdick and had a little too much chocolate doesn't mean you gotta be mad. Love ya!

Say it ain't so!

Nic, darling. ......

Please don't sell out and go Hollywood!

Now, if the teefers are causing you problems, (pain, etc) by all means, get them fixed..but I do believe you have surpassed "correction" and dare I say you have ventured into the extreme makeover world of Da Vinci Veneers... You are without a doubt the hottest, sexiest, dirtiest lil rock star out there. DON'T CHANGE.. don't turn into one of those cookie cutter pop stars like Justin Timberlake. (ew) I would be devastated...
FYI... I would still want to make white hot love with you, I just wouldn't be happy about it!

The proof!

Exhibit A: Prior to "changes"
Charming Mr Cester with real smile..

Exhibit B:
Teeth seem to be a little too perfect.. No charming gap. No mismatch sized teefers .


Whats next?? Guest appearances on (gulp) American Idol? Doing a duet with Beyonce?

( MENTAL NOTE: Meatier Nic is way hot.. must get up all in his business)

My baby girl is 6!

Being evil....

is not necessarily a bad thing, it is actually kind of charming.. and in my defense, I think I was driven to it. My bitch of a MIL literally watches every move I make. She does this in a lame attempt to find me doing something wrong, so she can report it to Victor. My most recent transgression involved leaving a candle lit when I left the house. The bitch had to come into my house and blow the thing out. Now it wasn't like I left it in the middle of this huge combustible pile of paper or anything, she just was totally put out because she had to stop doing some other pointless activity and blow the thing out. The fact that she watches me irritates the crap out of me. I decided the bitch needed to be taught a lesson. Last Saturday, Victor had to work and I went up to visit Jill... This created the perfect opportunity !!
God love the Glade company the inventor of the flameless candle. I literally peed myself ..laughing.. and thinking of how hard the bitch would try and try to blow the candle out.. I mean I was genuinely excited by the idea I was torturing the old bat.

-here is a small vid of the object of my affection! It looks like a real candle.. It is so fierce!!-

Don't mess with the bull lady, you are bound to get the horns!

GiGi the ham

You gotta know Meaty!

Do you remember Growing Pains? The Sitcom about the Seaver family? Well, one of the many episodes that has stuck in my head over the years was about the older son, Mike. In this particular episode, Mike is so sick he stays in bed all day and misses school. Later on in the afternoon, one of his friends calls him to tell him what he missed that day. He is shocked that life went along without him. In a nut shell, he discovers that he is not the center of everyone's universe.
Hm.
I must admit to you, dear reader, that I struggle with this each and every day. I often wonder how people can live their lives without me. (hello, have you seen me) HAAHAA
Anyways... one reason why you should follow me (like sheep damn it) is because I can find the BEST shows on the TV.
Case in point, Rob and Big. Just today, I was watching a mini-sode of the show On-demand. Seriously, How can people not watch this? or God forbid, not know that it exists? I seriously peed myself .. HYSTERICAL!


Listen here! Take a break.. breathe .. laugh.. Be like moosey and watch this damn show!

Mad props to Meaty!

For you Papa Pony!

I sent Papa Pony this lil vid:




His response :

"I can't believe this, this scum bag lawyer is your knight in shinning armor. I give up"

Well, dear grandfather...How you like them apples???

(actual scan of my absentee ballot! woo hoo E in 08)

Shannon, repeat after me.. "Hi Nic.. YOU'R HOT"

I had a dream.


A dream about watching a Jet performance.. I guess for some reason or another I found out where they were staying.. and when my sister and I went to the hotel.. I stopped Nic to introduce him to my sister, she is all, yeah whatever. I was so pissed. He seemed really put off and walked away.. I was speechless.. Can you imagine??

I am sorry. Nic. I dream about seeing you, talking to you, being with you, loving up on you, humping you .. er.. ugh.. tee hee??

Silly Lilly!

With Jillian out of the country.... I have had my baby fix thanks to the ADORABLE Lillian!
Come on .. what did you expect?? She is a Doe!!

Correction

Yes. dear reader, I did proclaim my support for Obama. I must admit I was overreacting. I had just watched this horrific documentary about Darfur.. and Obama was one of the Senators supporting the aid... blah blah blah...

I would like to announce who I would like to truly throw my support to.... (drum roll please)

The next president of THESE United States.......

President John Edwards


you better vote for him, bitches.. all 5013 of you!

I love you all. really i do.

For those that did not get a Christmas card, it is not because I forgot about you.. rather I am a tard, and I got a bunch returned because they were mis-addressed. D'oh.

PARTY TIME!!!!!! WE HAVE HIT 5000 visitors!!!!

(ok. It ain't like the Perez Hilton 5,000,000 hits daily, but it is something... right?)

Tragic

This is a photo of Tatiana on December 25th 2007.... The morning of the "attack".

I had a few thoughts on the 26th, while I was barraged with countless news shows on the incident.

1. I do not believe that this cat had a history of such behavior. As Jack Hanna pointed out, the zoo keeper stuck her arm in the tiger's cage during feeding time. This was a HUGE mistake. A human mistake.
   
2. Jack Hanna said that when she was out of her habitat she probably freaked and was trying to protect herself. If I saw a tiger, I would scream.. maybe this scared the crap out of Tatiana
   
3. Someone let that cat out.. either on purpose or accidentally
   
4. I have been in front of that cat .. kinda scary. At the same zoo, I was in front of a gorilla who took a liking to me.. what if he jumped out and tried to hump my ass.. claimed me as his bitch??
5. Why was there enough time for the police to get to the zoo and shoot the tiger? Doesn't the zoo have dart guns with tranquilizers at the ready??
   

I hope they do not find out they were taunting the cat...

It is still awful that the teenager died. regardless of what they were doing...

His loss

So, I got the annual papa pony newsletter in the mail. Its really a who's who in the family.
He drones on about all the accomplishments of the nadig kids.. or his favorite kid, Mike. when do I ever get mentioned? Never. SOB.

The Fight

Time has certainly past since the altercation I had a few weeks ago with Mother Alves. (and I use that word, mother, loosely) I would have hoped to have forgotten the hurtful things she said to me that came so easily from her lips, but i have not.
Her words were beyond hateful.. I cannot understand why anyone would treat another human being like that, especially the woman who married her son.
She said I was not a good person.. that her son deserved more and that my place was in the home cooking and cleaning for him...By not taking care of him I was making her son sick ..and my entire family was worthless.. I looked at this woman in disbelief. I had held my tongue far too long.. and went off on her. In all honesty, I don't care what the bitch says about me, but when you mess with my family, it's on.

My family is made up (past and present) of the most thoughtful, intelligent, gifted people .. on this planet. What can she say? That she can suck the life and goodness out of any situation.. BRAVO Mother Alves.. at least you are good at something.

George Clooney might be making some sense.

Here I am ..
Healthy..
All my family is healthy ..
And I am pissing and moaning over things like cars and cell phones when compared to the atrocities occuring in Darfur, have NO significance . Everyone wants the people of Sudan to be safe, but they do not want to step up and be the protector.
The people are being driven from their homes.. raped .. and literally mutilated..
Bush does nothing.
The blood of these people... The people of Darfur.. Is on his hands.

Obama 08

I am a hyper hypo, too

No one can resist Schweaty Balls!

on a lighter note.. The New Couple.. Jill-Hud

The worst week ever

Things usually happen in 3's, right? Well, I think I am done..

1. Bush and his SOB administration has gotten us into a war which will, come September 2008, have the feet of my brother, Khristopher, on the ground in Iraq. Yes, his deployment date has been made official (note to Bush: not a hair on his head can be disrupted, or I will hold you personally responsible.)



2. My dad's house caught fire and is destroyed ... And even worse, the fire took the life of his sweet dog Pud. The land lady was a cold bitch to them, She finally admitted that it was probably traumatic for them ,too.. Um, hello.. It was an investment for you.. It was my Dad's home..
(*** this is the most traumatic of the 3, mind you.. Dad , moses and Rachel are ok***)






3. On the way to my sister's house, I was in a 6 car MOTHER F'ING pile up.. on highway 101.. IN the FAST lane. Cops and ambulances and tow trucks... ugh





Note to GOD..When can I seriously ever get ahead.. Lucy, my dear friend who is a bit of a jesus freak would say, God only gives you as much as you can handle... Um, GOD? Hello, it's me Meghan ....NEXT! (a la soup Nazi)

Really?

Lisa and I were braving yet another commute home, when I came to a stop at a red light. I peered to my left and a TASTY specimen was driving a Toyota pick up. I coyly gazed at him.. He was so my type.. EYE CANDY SUPREMO! Longish layered hair.. Dark hair and eyes.. and sexy eyes that scream.. TAKE ME..

I googled Hot abercrombie type dark boys .. & found this pic.. It gives you the best idea of what I was feasting my eyes on.. YUMM YUMM!

(gulp)

So, the light turns green.. and he peers at me.. I race ahead of him in my lane.. and get in front of him.. Then he changes lanes and drives up along side of us.. (Its a sweet lil cat and mouse game.. CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, darlin!) Now keep in mind, I am dreaming this whole seduction scene up in my head and my commuter, Lisa, is oblivious. I finally break my silence and say, Lisa check out the hottie in the car next to us.. She looks over, and instantly her face turns sour.. YOU MEAN THE TEENAGE BOY IN THE PICKUP.. SHIT! Teenage? Am I losing my mind, wait.. don't answer that.. UGH. .. He WAS SO HOT..damn.. I could be a cougar.. How do you become one.. I can totally start practicing.. meow.. HISS HISS..

Giving you a little taste

I must tell you the whole story.. My goings on Saturday, Dec 1.. I spent a delightful day with Jilly.. (MIMI loves GIGI)

But it started off Volcanically .. All I can say now, because Gretta is starting and I only have a minute, is my MIL (mother in law) has officially been reclassified. Once an evil troll. She is now an angry, atrocious, bad, baneful, base, beastly, bitchy, calamitous, corrupt, damnable, depraved, destructive, disastrous, execrable, foul, harmful, hateful, heinous, hideous, iniquitous, injurious, loathsome, low, maleficent, malevolent, malicious, malignant, nefarious, no good, obscene, offensive, pernicious, poison, rancorous, reprobate, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, sinful, spiteful, stinking, ugly, unpleasant, unpropitious, vicious, vile, villainous, wicked, wrathful, wrong fucking whore on the planet~

More later.

Thanksgiving

Because my sister insists on babynapping Jill.. away from MIMI for Xmas, we spent Thanksgiving at my sissy's.. I was forced into watching Ratatouille.. ugh.

Jilly turns 2

The Saturday after Jillian's 2nd birthday, my sissy spared no expense and threw quite a shindig for the lil whipper snapper..

Side note: When I was helping my sister set up the soirée.. I swear that I saw Nic and Pia. I second guessed myself, because Nic was wearing baggy butt jeans.. and I have never known him to wear baggy butt jeans.. but now I remember he usta wear flares.. and then he wore skinny jeans.. who is to say he isn't doing the gangsta thing now?? He was wearing a leather vest .. and a striped shirt.. I didn't see the boots.. If only I looked at the boots and saw the brown suede shoes.. Does anyone know if he is in San Fran?? Why oh why didn't I charge him.. hmph

Yes, I agree

I have been neglectful.. So very much has happened.. I will try and catch you up.. deal?

Happy Birth day, Lily Doe!

ps.. I know I have been lazy and not giving my love to you , dear reader. Be strong! I will be back soon.

The Dynasty continues...

Huh? fine.

So, about the previous comment.. It was for one person. So, if you don't get it, then it worked. If you get it, I am nervous. Here is the story. My dear sweet friend, Tania, and I went to the Shark Tank to see Maroon Five. It was really weird.. In the past year, I have been to 10 concerts, so I am not a total nerd .. I can totally ROCK out, but they have all been JET shows. I am not complaining.. I mean I love Jet. I love everything about them and if I could JUST go to JET shows from now on, I would be cool with it.. But it was weird NOT seeing Nic's lil smokin body on the stage.. I was sad.. ANYWAYS, so, we went to Maroon Five... kick ass seats. And we were NOT the oldest people there (which is a BIG fear of mine) .. when Tania and I went to concerts when we were in highschoool, (Erasure, B52's,Rick Astley, Richard Marx) we would make so much fun of the old people at the show.. " don't these lame 30+ year olds have some where else to be???" .... But we danced and had fun... didn't recognize the opening bands.. Phantom Planet and the Hives ... hmph.
So, we danced and texted eachother (cuz it was so loud) and we took pics and danced., and danced.. (Did I mention we danced?) hahahaha Tania heard that I made out with a chick at the last Jet show, so she was trying to ply me with liquor.. to get a smooch.. hmph. And the chick next to us was a chick we went to high school with.. we had a bowling class together and the big scandal was that she stole the shoes..
And then we left early, cuz us oldies want to beat the crowd, and we danced at the door to SHE WILL BE LOVED.. I miss the girl (Tania) I love her.. xoxoxox

No, TLG, you may not have my pants.. and I told you so!

God, he isn't going to bring Prima-Donovan with him !!! Now, Beck's is another story entirely..

Good evening,

I wanted to inform you of the announcement we made earlier today.

Frank Yallop (former LA Galaxy Coach) will be our new Head Coach!

Tomorrow at 12:00 P.M. we will be holding an open press conference in our new office building. Please join us if you are available!

Earthquakes Soccer LLC

451 El Camino Real, Suite 220

Santa Clara, CA 95050

Thanks,

Alexa Jontulovich

Earthquakes Soccer LLC

Disappointment ... averted

If you can imagine, this is Miss Jill Doing her sleeping dog.. or flat footed mongoose. (something like that)..
Its a yoga move.. Ok, she is almost 2.. I am 34 and would need the jaws of life to get out of this position.

This weekend, I went up to SF to babysit Miss Jill.. Had a blast. We watched the ROAST of Grover.. We sat side by side on the couch.. LOVED the movie.. Complete surprise ending.. (Don't worry I won't spoil it for you!!)

We went off to bed at 8:30, but didn't fall asleep until like 930! She peepee'd 3 times in the potty.. YEAH .. and she has this weird obsession with saying no..

The whole thing about teaching her no, was a bad idea..

"Jill put your shirt on." "no"

"Jill time to go to bed" "no"

"Jill let Mi Mi's nose go" "no"

hmph. She has turned into such a sweet, kewl little girl.. Personally, I think its my intervention.. Just think, if I wasn't around, she would have never seen COPS.. (the horror of it all)

Earlier in the day, Shan and I went to Farleys to see the pics of Jill and Mo that were to be displayed from the previous weeks photo booth experience. As soon as we walked up to the store front, we could see Jilly's little smiling face. She was predominantly displayed on the inside wall.. She was the center of a bunch of other photog's. Shan pointed out a bunch of pics of the kids she knew.. Hudson and Aimee's kids.. blah blah blah.. WHERE was MO? I was beyond disappointed. Mo would be heart broken. I scanned and rescanned the walls inside the coffee house... nothing....His big break.. and he was left out? I asked the hipster doofus behind the counter if any additional photos would be added to the show. He said, no..This was all of them. HMPH. damn it. As we were leaving, we noticed that there were a few pictures displayed on the outside.. Kind of the ultra fab .. center piece pics.. I was so sad, no Mo. Then Shan, who was a few steps ahead of me, looked back at me with a big grin. There was MO.. a STAR! for everyone to see.. Not only the peeps that went in the store.. BUT EVERY BODY WHO PASSED BY!! He was Out front! woo hoo.. Go Mo.

Mr Mocha Latte Jet Almeida will be taking requests for interviews. Please call his management team.