HOLY CRAP...

Dorks Unite!

I had the pleasure of watching Spain SPANK Germany's ass at Euro 2008 today .. During the closing ceremonies of the tournament, Mr Enrique Iglesias performed a little ditty.. (no, not about Jack and Diane) I have to admit I really got into his performance... He jumped around.. and looked all sexy. (sigh).. Fast forwared to tonight.. I still had the lil Spaniard on the brain .. So, I went trolling the net and came across this little beaut. Its a commercial that was played in Portugal to promote their teams participation in the tournament. Not only does it have the bitchin song, but Ronaldo's kick ass bod. She shoots, she scores!!!

Viva Portugal!

Cruel Irony

As I was waiting in an absurdly long line at the Starbucks drive thru.. I came upon this scene. A homeless camp just by the railroad tracks. The homeless seemed to be mesmerized by the bill board. DO you think this was the brain child of a brilliant whiz ad agency??? I mean they are the target demographic, right?

And you think you've got it bad?

My beautiful sister has it made. She was lucky enough to find a rocket scientist (really) to spend the rest of her life with. He seems intelligent, worldly, fun, adventurous and caring. He not only has a good job, but knowledge of rocket scientist type things that would seem to always be in demand..

I have changed my mind.

This very weekend, I witnessed an argument between my sister and her husband about tampons. Frank believed they were unnecessary and wasteful. Why could my sister not reuse a hand towel. WHAT? I agree that I, at times, can be a little materialistic..but come on.. preventing blood from gushing out of your cooter.. THE NERVE..

Then I started noticing alot of strange things in their home.. what are your thoughts?

An electric fan is far too expensive, a giant leaf can be run on (wo)man power.

The squished family pet, Adam. (Aunt Mimi had no idea the ant was a pet!)

a HANDMADE version of candy land.

I smell delish! really, I DO!

I completely Adore Jim Breuer.. (hello, Goat BOY!!!) I just found out that he will be in town this weekend and No one wants to go with me.. :(

The loser that I am, I bought 1 ticket. Jet concert de ja vous. I will start to get a complex. I wash. I smell yummy.. :( Why doesn't anyone like me?

Gulp.. Tidy whities never looked sooo good.

Seriously... soccer is a MAN'S sport....

Calm down bitches, thats Vicky B ...

MIMI has been dreamin' of this...

dearest lord.. let me be reincarnated for a few moments as that wee lollipop.. amen.

Sweet Lilly

6 months old, if you can believe it..

rest in peace, my friend..

Little B ain't so little no mo'

9th grade here he comes....

AND a lil more...

I peed a lil...HAHAHAHHAHAA

Rock on

Holy Crapola, Batman!

This birthday thing really sucks.. come to find out.. the incredibly delicious Johnny Depp is (gulp) 45!!! THE HORROR!!

Are you kidding me? 50?

(he is still a sexy bitch)

Would it kill you to stroke my ego?!?!?!

The company I work for has a program for recent college graduates - a kind of fast track to the fun and exciting world of management. They spend about a year in a department.. then they move to another and another... to gain experience in a wide range of positions. In the last go around, my department was lucky to get a fresh faced fella I like to refer to as Duke. I like calling him Duke because he reminded me of the boys in that Duke La Crosse Rape case .. You know the type ... All American-corn fed-frat boy.. (see photo above)
Anyways, Duke turned out to be a real nice guy... Well, until last week that is.
He has been with our office for a loooong time and he was finally able to get time off to go on a vacation with his girlfriend, Sally. They decided to go to Greece. Before he left, I (half) joked around with him and asked him to bring me a nice Grecian boy ....Little did I know, when he returned he came through!!! OK, it was a small key chain in the shape of a boy.. but still.. MAJOR brownie points.. He was very sweet to remember me... I wondered what Sally thought about the cute key chain, so I stupidly asked. Duke laughed and said that Sally asked, " WHO are you buying that for?" He replied "Sally, you have NOTHING to worry about.. "
What? um, hello. The knife went straight through my wee lil heart.. Does he not know that I am a bitchin chick!!! How dare Duke say that TO ME. I would rock Duke's world.. But he ain't getting none of this.. (not now anyway!!!! ) HMPH.

She isn't Tanorexic -- she is Tan-o-rific!

Posh for Marc Jacobs

For some unknown reason, I am completely obsessed with Marc Jacobs. It might be that I saw a documentary on him.. How he runs the Louis Vuitton house.. and the Marc Jacobs House.. and he is just so bitchin.

I don't remember him looking THIS good..

It's a beautiful day...

My first (& last) Mexican wedding..

The people were nice.. (well, what I could understand..) the main issue was the sound system. It was reminiscent of a sold out Def Leopard show at the COW PALACE!!! ROCK ON!!! (I am JUST now getting my hearing back...)

She CAN look so Stunning!

And then turn around and look SOOOO fricken scary!

This is your brain on drugs, kiddies.

Should I be scared?

I not only think he is kinda cool, I am starting to understand the jibber jabber...

Imaginatory vagueness?

I WAS torn...

I didn't know any of the players on the San Jose team.. and the Dynamo were my boys.
BUT things have changed. I love my Quakes.. and LOVE the fact they kicked the Dynamo's ass tonight!!

Letter sent to Goal keeper coach Jason Batty

Dude.

I am MORE then a little embarrassed for you. I was at the Saturday, May 10th game against Columbus. After the national anthem, and just before the start of the game, the sound crew BLASTED a rather ‘drum-heavy’ rock song. As I was photographing Ronnie O’Brien, you came into view. For a split second I thought I had mistakenly found myself at a Slayer concert!!! (NOOOOOOOO!)

Jason, I have photographic evidence that you RIDICULOUSLY air drummed for what seemed like an eternity. The expression on your face alone was MORTIFYING! I could totally be persuaded to destroy the evidence if an XL Quakes Jacket was sent my way!

Kisses,

I swear..

I thought Pete was going to munch on one of those babies....

Classic!

Speaking of which....

My latest obsession.. #11 Ned Grabavoy.

The boys are finally back in town!

I am evil, but c'mon!

Yes. Seriously evil, I agree. But come on! I peer out my window to catch a glimpse of my sister in law leaving from my mil's house next door and I literally was tripping all over myself to find my camera. No wonder she quit her job to do the star search thing full time. Maybe she could be like a styler for P-Diddy.. or J-Lo.. who knows? Maybe the "banana yellow purse, clam digger pants, pink sweater, F-ME pumps" look is whats new for summer!!! Maybe its just me who doesn't get it

Mr. Demille, She is ready for her close up...

I can't make EVERYTHING look good!!!

To: customercare@katespade.com

Subject: Product Questions

I was delighted to receive Kate Spade glasses for my birthday. I
was saddened however, when I tried them on and the LARGE frames made me look RIDICULOUS! (I know, hard to believe) I am not mary kate or nicole ritchie.. and I cannot get away with such bigness. I dont want to offend the gift giver.. can I exchange through you?

Kisses, MiMi

Poor Queenie!!!!

Dare I say....

Nic rocks as a back up singer,too!

Lexi in the DD Spot

seriously, 15?

(for my tween audience)

I totally lied before!!! (previous post)

HAAHAA..

what would Nic Cester.com be.. without a Nic Cester Photo.. I have commitments I must meet.. Jeesh

Last photog of the day! (I must nap)

For those of you who refuse to think Howard has done anything worth talking about.. check out his daughter (pictured with Howard and fiance' Beth O) .. She is a BEAUT!

check out Ralph.. LOVE IT!

Lucy, this priceless piece of art is 4 U!

I am NOT obsessed with her...

its just her career seems to be exploding ever since she and Chris called it quits. The X-fiance plays the role of sales girl who steals the camera from Ash .. watch. enjoy.

Saturday fun...

For those who have waited...

to send me your gift, fear not.. I am not THAT irritated. I had a delightful birthDAY with my pooches..

The photo above is the hint you will need to satisfy my every desire.. and get me the PERFECT gift!!! (anything from his line would be adored .. promise!)

P.S. It should be noted that the bitches and ho's that do not give me the love (and gifts) I deserve WILL be outed.

LOOK! Me, WEE!

Happy Birthday, old girl!

Artie is back.. !!!!!! YEAH!

Without a doubt.....

The cutest, sweetest 2 year old I know.

side note

Pass along my love..

I found a posting on some message board from a guy that claimed to be BFF's with Nic. A girl had asked anyone in cyberspace for Nic's address .. and this guy, just recently back from hanging with Nic in Como, decided he would respond. He claimed that the girl was a groupie.. and that Nic was fully aware that if he was still some nameless fork lift driver, no girls would give him the time of day. Without his rock star status, he would never get a second look.

I am here to tell you, I respectfully disagree.

The whole rock star thing IS beyond cool, but it is a necessary vehicle to bring this man into my world. How would I have ever had the opportunity to cross his path? I don't NORMALLY hang out in construction sites in the US.. I cannot imagine crossing the vast ocean to stake out Aussie sites.
So, dear friend of Nic, if given the opportunity .. in Melbourne, I would have looked twice at that particular fork lift driver.. That hot, sexy lil bitch! (sigh)
SO.. DAMN it, give ME.. er.. her, the address!!

A year ago to the day...

I was all spiffy and a wee bit lit awaiting the Jet show in Anaheim... Hard to believe it has been an entire year since I have seen them LIVE. (heavy sigh)
This birthday eve was spent with JUST as fabulous peeps.. I was treated to a deeeeelicious dinner and a fun time. Thanks girls! LOVE you!

I am all for re-incarnation...

If you can guarantee that I come back as THOSE black jeans on Mr Nic Cester

He makes that grape blouse look so HOT!

PS.. I SO want to be in his gang, don't you?

wait...

Has Nic always been THAT sexy...????



(don't be jealous lovies.. my lips were on THOSE lips...)

Seriouly...

If it's new to me, it's gotta be new to you...enjoy

Love you Artie. Come back.

This dogs got moves..

a wee taste ..

Chris Cester, Say it ain't so!

happier times?

I happened to be watching TV and I caught this weird commercial for Dunkin Donuts... I could have sworn your ultra fab/supportive girl friend of forever was one of a bunch of people howling about the yumminess of the new coffee mixes or something.. I wanted to find out if it was her.. SO, I messaged her via MySpace, and got no reply... I thought, hm.. she usually is so nice.. and being that I am KINDA a fan of her boyfriend's band, I figured she would entertain my stupid email.. BUT NO.
I got a little irritated and wanted to know what in her life was so important she couldn't take a second and reply.. I was looking at her pictures and noticed all the photos you were once in, you are now BLATANTLY cut out of.. and then I saw that her "status" is single..

LOVER! What happened? You are such a nice sweet boy.. I hope you are all right.. I kind of feel like a bitch for bothering her.. Oh well, ce la vie.
Since we are on this unpleasant subject, how goes Nic and Pia? Are they still an item...Does he need me to come and soothe his broken heart, too. ..I am seriously on the next plane .. Just name the place.. Lake Cuomo? Australia? LA?

Where is the time going?

Jillian is 7 months shy of 3 years old! Her junk in her trunk has disappeared and she has shot up to almost 3 feet tall!! I feel sad for those poor lil boys in her future.. this sweet girl is going to knock their socks off!

Hot? YES! but he must be stopped!

He can eat crackers and cookies.. (and me, tee hee) in my bed, but HE MUST BE STOPPED! Why did he have to score his first ever MLS goal in the game against the NEW San Jose Earthquakes? Couldn't he just let them have 1 day? No. And then that lil dork Landon had to score. I am not happy with these boys. They will be punished!

My bitches have MAJOR 'tude, now.....

Happy Easter...

14! No way!

Happy Birthday, Brendan!

No estoy retrasado .. Bien, estoy de alto funcionamiento!

So, I was sick as a dog ALL weekend.

I was at work on Thursday and literally thought I was going to die. The ultra fab Jennifer G breathed her sickness cooties on me, and I caught whatever she had times ten.
ANYWAYS, when I got home from work on Thursday, I went straight to bed and lit-TRA-ly did not get up AT all until Saturday... And that was just when Victor came to the door and said someone wanted to talk to me. At first, I thought it was my MIL (mother in law) .. and I began to think, what a BEYOTCH.. she can't even let me be sick.. It actually wasn't my MIL, my neighbors were at the door...And wanted to speak to me!!! Now this is the same family that I gave a box (well, re-gifted)of See's candy to, the family that I sincerely apologize to every time I feel their pain because they have to be neighbors with my MIL too.. and the same family whose husband/father/man greets me at 7am every dang day as we drag our sorry asses off to the 9-5. I thought we had bonded as neighbors.. (GRRRR)

I went to the door and was met by 2 senoritas. The older of the two started talking in Spanish and the younger girl turned out to be the translator. Their story began, "Hello! my niece is having a baby shower!" I immediately interrupted ASSUMING That these nice people wanted me to join in the fiesta and said, "Oh, how nice. I am sorry I am going to have to turn you down. I am so very sick. Too bad you didn't tell me sooner. Darn." The two ladies looked at each other in what I would say was confusion and then pointed at my mother in laws house and said, could you tell her..... " And before they could finish I again interrupted and said, "What? Really you want her to come..." They jibber jabbered for a few seconds and the younger girl said, "no, we are having a party and promise to keep the noise down.. can you please ask her not to call the cops..." HUH?
I immediately said YEAH YEAH, sure.. and began to close the door.. I heard them laugh. I betcha it was at me. Then I heard uproarious laughter coming from the house as my tard-ness reached the party goers. I can't show my face anywhere in the hood now, I am devastated!


No más dulces para ellos!

Erin Go Bragh!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh Scott!

I wrote a little entry a few days back about Richard Allen Davis and his singles ad. I happen to mention that I was against the death penalty and in that argument I happen to say that even though I believe that Scott Peterson is THE devil, I don't think he should die. Some NUT job commented on THIS statement about Scott.
Blah blah.. no evidence.. blah blah.. set up.. blah blah he just cheated and didn't kill anyone. blah blah.. I followed her comment back to her blog (http://thevoiceofsanity.blogspot.com/ IRONIC NAME, HUH?) and low and behold she is a "friend of Scott" who is searching for the real killers ... OMFG. I admit, I can usually find the good in EVERYONE. I mean to this day I can't really believe OJ murdered Ron and Denise.. But, c'mon. Scott Peterson? Even I can see him for what he is. He sucked the life and beauty out of Laci because he wanted to start a new life with the hot piece 'o' tail, Amber Frey.
I bet this "commenter" visits Scott, and presses her heaving bosom against the glass that separates the two..(ALA cable guy .. see photo) I know that Scott is a charmer.. and he obviously charmed the pants off this giddy gal..but SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!

I kinda feel bad for her.. I guess EHarmony wasn't able to find this poor sap a match..

That bitch is so fierce! (& Major!) CONGRATS!