BG in haute couture.

She is a big girl, now.

Funny. Ha Ha

Yes, I am ashamed

Yes, I understand that Joe is jail bait....but in my defense, he is a pretty hotlookin BOY!

Meet my new life coaches....

Lesson 1

The answer

Finally. New JET!!!

Vindication.. & mad props to Brekke!

This is for all you bitches who make fun of me for obsessively shadowing Jet .. READ UP!
Its all about balance, baby. Its totally OK that I am a 30 something groupie..
The best part? I can now totally have fun AND I can afford my own bail!!!!

Game: part deux

Sweet lil ME!

When the MLS started, 11 years ago, I was a single, hot lil monkey who loved to swoon over the players. Not in a scary way, I would just enjoy the game and REALLY enjoy the boys that played it. Every season, as the line-ups would change, I would fixate on a new player. I would cheer extra hard for the chosen one. Fast forward to yesterdays game. An entire family seemed to occupy the row just below me. There was a grannie, the grandpa, a daughter, the sons, their wives and their kids. They were LOUD and obnoxious and I got sucked into their drama. WELL. The daughter apparently had a thing for one of the players.. I cannot blame her, the player was Shea Salinas. WAY cute, but WAY out of her league. (See Shea below )
She pulled out of her bag a few pages of a scrap book she was making.. and they were all done up (you know, that freakish scrapbooking thing people do??? Love you Debbie) Way weird... She would call his name.. over and over.. A few times he would look over to her and genuinely seemed mortified..

Here she is (sunglasses on head) after she moved to the first row to try and get him to sign the scrapbook -o-rama she done up... (by the way, That is him running on by...)

The Grandma.. started videotaping everything Shea was doing.. and it was like the whole family was stalking him.. I felt kinda bad for him.. and then I started feeling bad for the chick because she was this clumsy girl who was obviously a little slow.. and then I started feeling bad for myself. Did I look this retarded when I would fixate on a player? Was I this pathetic??? I started to freak a little .....And then all of a sudden, something caught my attention.. Something WHITE and shiny (you know, like a bright light??) It was MEN IN UNIFORM! MY FAVORITE!!!!

Screw that pathetic beyotch, Mommie has some hunting to do!

PS.. Do you think if I said I had some WMD in my drawers they would do a full cavity search?? WHAT????? a girl can hope, can't she?

"POP" I think shes done

As you may know, the San Jose Earthquakes are in the middle of their first "come back" season .. It hasn't really felt like the season was underway, because most of their games so far have been away games. Yesterday was finally a home game and I was beyond excited!!! The only bad thing, was that the kick off was scheduled for 1pm. (no big deal? HA) Don't get me wrong, I did prepare. I went and got SPF 50 sunblock and lathered it on in the car and then I reapplied at 1/2 time.. But because there are fires in NO CAL, and it was kind of overcast, the really nasty rays from the sun hit my poor arms .. and the SPF 50 was no match. I have now been christened lobster girl.. (no way as cute as this bebe) I am a ROCK LOBSTER! HAHAHAHAHA

wait....

did you know the FREE CREDIT REPORT dude was French? How sexy!



Here he is a wee bit slimmer.. but doing an ad for Sirius.. Oui Oui Eric Violette!!

Michelle, was it Cherry?

I may be a lot of things...

but trollop ain't one of them. Per Webster, a trollop is a vulgar or disreputable woman.
um, the word is from the 1600's .. can you at least come into this century?? You must be some freaky, whorish hag of a woMAN .. who loves to bring others down to make yourself seem half way decent. (I am being generous) No more commenting anonymously .. I want the opportunity to rip you a new A Hole, too..

Step up into the light, or shut the F Up...

on a side note, I will allow skank, coquette, flirt, libertine, siren, tempter, temptress, wench..... but under NO circumstances will allow trollop.

Happy Birthday my sweet friend....

WTF????

Mark and Chris cannot be trusted.. They get a little time off and do shitz like this? I mean, Chris sounds hot, but the chick completely ruins it.. It is BAD! She is way hot and people were too mesmerized to tell her she sucks..

worth watching....

HOLY CRAP...

Dorks Unite!

I had the pleasure of watching Spain SPANK Germany's ass at Euro 2008 today .. During the closing ceremonies of the tournament, Mr Enrique Iglesias performed a little ditty.. (no, not about Jack and Diane) I have to admit I really got into his performance... He jumped around.. and looked all sexy. (sigh).. Fast forwared to tonight.. I still had the lil Spaniard on the brain .. So, I went trolling the net and came across this little beaut. Its a commercial that was played in Portugal to promote their teams participation in the tournament. Not only does it have the bitchin song, but Ronaldo's kick ass bod. She shoots, she scores!!!

Viva Portugal!

Cruel Irony

As I was waiting in an absurdly long line at the Starbucks drive thru.. I came upon this scene. A homeless camp just by the railroad tracks. The homeless seemed to be mesmerized by the bill board. DO you think this was the brain child of a brilliant whiz ad agency??? I mean they are the target demographic, right?

And you think you've got it bad?

My beautiful sister has it made. She was lucky enough to find a rocket scientist (really) to spend the rest of her life with. He seems intelligent, worldly, fun, adventurous and caring. He not only has a good job, but knowledge of rocket scientist type things that would seem to always be in demand..

I have changed my mind.

This very weekend, I witnessed an argument between my sister and her husband about tampons. Frank believed they were unnecessary and wasteful. Why could my sister not reuse a hand towel. WHAT? I agree that I, at times, can be a little materialistic..but come on.. preventing blood from gushing out of your cooter.. THE NERVE..

Then I started noticing alot of strange things in their home.. what are your thoughts?

An electric fan is far too expensive, a giant leaf can be run on (wo)man power.

The squished family pet, Adam. (Aunt Mimi had no idea the ant was a pet!)

a HANDMADE version of candy land.

I smell delish! really, I DO!

I completely Adore Jim Breuer.. (hello, Goat BOY!!!) I just found out that he will be in town this weekend and No one wants to go with me.. :(

The loser that I am, I bought 1 ticket. Jet concert de ja vous. I will start to get a complex. I wash. I smell yummy.. :( Why doesn't anyone like me?

Gulp.. Tidy whities never looked sooo good.

Seriously... soccer is a MAN'S sport....

Calm down bitches, thats Vicky B ...

MIMI has been dreamin' of this...

dearest lord.. let me be reincarnated for a few moments as that wee lollipop.. amen.

Sweet Lilly

6 months old, if you can believe it..

rest in peace, my friend..

Little B ain't so little no mo'

9th grade here he comes....

AND a lil more...

I peed a lil...HAHAHAHHAHAA

Rock on

Holy Crapola, Batman!

This birthday thing really sucks.. come to find out.. the incredibly delicious Johnny Depp is (gulp) 45!!! THE HORROR!!

Are you kidding me? 50?

(he is still a sexy bitch)

Would it kill you to stroke my ego?!?!?!

The company I work for has a program for recent college graduates - a kind of fast track to the fun and exciting world of management. They spend about a year in a department.. then they move to another and another... to gain experience in a wide range of positions. In the last go around, my department was lucky to get a fresh faced fella I like to refer to as Duke. I like calling him Duke because he reminded me of the boys in that Duke La Crosse Rape case .. You know the type ... All American-corn fed-frat boy.. (see photo above)
Anyways, Duke turned out to be a real nice guy... Well, until last week that is.
He has been with our office for a loooong time and he was finally able to get time off to go on a vacation with his girlfriend, Sally. They decided to go to Greece. Before he left, I (half) joked around with him and asked him to bring me a nice Grecian boy ....Little did I know, when he returned he came through!!! OK, it was a small key chain in the shape of a boy.. but still.. MAJOR brownie points.. He was very sweet to remember me... I wondered what Sally thought about the cute key chain, so I stupidly asked. Duke laughed and said that Sally asked, " WHO are you buying that for?" He replied "Sally, you have NOTHING to worry about.. "
What? um, hello. The knife went straight through my wee lil heart.. Does he not know that I am a bitchin chick!!! How dare Duke say that TO ME. I would rock Duke's world.. But he ain't getting none of this.. (not now anyway!!!! ) HMPH.

She isn't Tanorexic -- she is Tan-o-rific!

Posh for Marc Jacobs

For some unknown reason, I am completely obsessed with Marc Jacobs. It might be that I saw a documentary on him.. How he runs the Louis Vuitton house.. and the Marc Jacobs House.. and he is just so bitchin.

I don't remember him looking THIS good..

It's a beautiful day...

My first (& last) Mexican wedding..

The people were nice.. (well, what I could understand..) the main issue was the sound system. It was reminiscent of a sold out Def Leopard show at the COW PALACE!!! ROCK ON!!! (I am JUST now getting my hearing back...)

She CAN look so Stunning!

And then turn around and look SOOOO fricken scary!

This is your brain on drugs, kiddies.

Should I be scared?

I not only think he is kinda cool, I am starting to understand the jibber jabber...

Imaginatory vagueness?

I WAS torn...

I didn't know any of the players on the San Jose team.. and the Dynamo were my boys.
BUT things have changed. I love my Quakes.. and LOVE the fact they kicked the Dynamo's ass tonight!!

Letter sent to Goal keeper coach Jason Batty

Dude.

I am MORE then a little embarrassed for you. I was at the Saturday, May 10th game against Columbus. After the national anthem, and just before the start of the game, the sound crew BLASTED a rather ‘drum-heavy’ rock song. As I was photographing Ronnie O’Brien, you came into view. For a split second I thought I had mistakenly found myself at a Slayer concert!!! (NOOOOOOOO!)

Jason, I have photographic evidence that you RIDICULOUSLY air drummed for what seemed like an eternity. The expression on your face alone was MORTIFYING! I could totally be persuaded to destroy the evidence if an XL Quakes Jacket was sent my way!

Kisses,

I swear..

I thought Pete was going to munch on one of those babies....

Classic!

Speaking of which....

My latest obsession.. #11 Ned Grabavoy.

The boys are finally back in town!

I am evil, but c'mon!

Yes. Seriously evil, I agree. But come on! I peer out my window to catch a glimpse of my sister in law leaving from my mil's house next door and I literally was tripping all over myself to find my camera. No wonder she quit her job to do the star search thing full time. Maybe she could be like a styler for P-Diddy.. or J-Lo.. who knows? Maybe the "banana yellow purse, clam digger pants, pink sweater, F-ME pumps" look is whats new for summer!!! Maybe its just me who doesn't get it

Mr. Demille, She is ready for her close up...

I can't make EVERYTHING look good!!!

To: customercare@katespade.com

Subject: Product Questions

I was delighted to receive Kate Spade glasses for my birthday. I
was saddened however, when I tried them on and the LARGE frames made me look RIDICULOUS! (I know, hard to believe) I am not mary kate or nicole ritchie.. and I cannot get away with such bigness. I dont want to offend the gift giver.. can I exchange through you?

Kisses, MiMi

Poor Queenie!!!!

Dare I say....

Nic rocks as a back up singer,too!

Lexi in the DD Spot

seriously, 15?

(for my tween audience)

I totally lied before!!! (previous post)

HAAHAA..

what would Nic Cester.com be.. without a Nic Cester Photo.. I have commitments I must meet.. Jeesh

Last photog of the day! (I must nap)

For those of you who refuse to think Howard has done anything worth talking about.. check out his daughter (pictured with Howard and fiance' Beth O) .. She is a BEAUT!

check out Ralph.. LOVE IT!

Lucy, this priceless piece of art is 4 U!

I am NOT obsessed with her...

its just her career seems to be exploding ever since she and Chris called it quits. The X-fiance plays the role of sales girl who steals the camera from Ash .. watch. enjoy.

Saturday fun...

For those who have waited...

to send me your gift, fear not.. I am not THAT irritated. I had a delightful birthDAY with my pooches..

The photo above is the hint you will need to satisfy my every desire.. and get me the PERFECT gift!!! (anything from his line would be adored .. promise!)

P.S. It should be noted that the bitches and ho's that do not give me the love (and gifts) I deserve WILL be outed.

LOOK! Me, WEE!

Happy Birthday, old girl!

Artie is back.. !!!!!! YEAH!

Without a doubt.....

The cutest, sweetest 2 year old I know.

side note