Erin Go Bragh!

March 17th is not only important because of the great St Patrick.. It is also the day my sweet nephew, Brendan, was born. Even though at 12 the little turd is taller than me.. He is the light of my life.. If I am never blessed with children of my own..Little Brendan will always have a special place in my heart. (I think it might be best if I don't breed with Victor.. but we will talk about that another day)
This past St Patricks, I took the day off work and headed to his school with my ma to pick him up. You know, spend a little quality time with the lad...
As I waited in the car for the bell to ring, I happen to be listening to the glorious rantings of a Mr Bubba the Love Sponge. He is a funny fellow who has a show after Howard Stern...
My nephew finally showed up.. and we began our journey home. Bubba was chatting to another fellow about carpets and drapes. Now just so you aren't led astray.. he was not talking about decorating, but the eloquent way to ask a fair maiden if the color of the hair on her head .. matches her kooch hair. Now, being a woman of the world.. I grasped the jist of the conversation and B-U-S-T-E-D a gut.. literally. Tears were welling up and I thought, momentarily, that I should pull over to regain my composure. My mother, in the rear of the vehicle.. also fell into a fit of laughter.. We both realized simultaneously that my nephew was also laughing.. and loudly saying.. carpet matches the drapes.... carpet matches the drapes.. Har Har..

Hmm..

In my messed up mind, I thought.. of course we need to explain this to him.. We cant have him saying this phrase to someone who might not know of his innocence..
I gently reviewed the facts.. Some woman, whether it be natural or through the help of the lovely Miss Clairol, change the color of the hair on their heads.. and the phrase merely inquired if that hair color matched a ladies cooter fuzz. My nephews eyes lit up.. and he began to laugh like I have never heard him laugh before... He wanted to call my sister and pose the question to her.. My mother thought poorly of the idea.. but I said, What the F**K! As the phone rang, he was formulating his devilish question.. I could see his little eyes dance in delight ... She finally answered.. and he let out a giggle before he could even say hello.. Finally, he blurted out.. Do your carpets match your drapes?? without missing a beat, my sister said.. I HAVE HARDWOOD FLOORS.. Little Brendan was dumbfounded.. Why hadn't it worked??
As he hung up with my sister, I reached my ma's place and they both hopped out. We waved goodbye and I figured the fun was over ...he would soon forget about "decorating with MEG".. Thank goodness, I thought.

About 5 minutes later, my phone rang... I answered to my nephew's booming voice .. "how is your cooter flambey?" ugh..........
I CREATED A MONSTER!