For some reason, the old system has been acting whacky. Maybe its the stress over granny or perhaps ..perhaps it was the "Krab" salad that I devoured at the fresh choice up in SF??? ..AGH!!! Who would have thought that you can't trust "Krab" .. what is this world coming too??!?!?!?
Whatever the reason, my most recent visits to the crapper have become quite eventful..
Just today, when I got home from work , I made a mad dash for the lavatory.. because... well, as Flavor Flav says, I had to drop the kids off at the pool...
(heavy sigh)
As I was doing my business, I could hear the MIL and the SIL talking.. When did the SIL show up?? (sister in law) I began to wonder.. if voices could be heard through the wall we shared, maybe my funkiness could somehow waft over into my MILs house..OH NO.. !!! I freaked out .. What am I going to do.. the picture I painted of what a delicate flower I am took so long to paint .. these freaks are going to think I am just like them!!!! I started to hyperventilate .. gasp.. gasp.. Just as I was about to pass out .. I realized that I had a book of Matches.. shew!!!
I lit the match ..let it burn a little .. let the sulpher eat the stink ... Then I had a bright idea ..I could safely drop the match between my legs into what I assumed would be a bowl of water.. I watched in horror as the match fell into a pile of toilet paper.. I was mortified as the paper quickly "whoooshed" into a flame ball.. It came creeping up to my cooter.. I lept up in a state of panic!!! Needless to say, my cooter is fine.. I just singed my cooter fuzz... and I can't for the life of me get the smell of burnt cooter out of the house.. Does anyone have any suggestions???.. hmm.
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