why, hello!

Yeah. So its been a real long time since we have chatted and a whole lot has been going on. I think I left off the weekend before the weekend before Christmas. My sister was kind enough to include me in Jiji’s social schedule so a lot of my most recent outings were as Jiji’s date. The first outing was to go to Jiji’s school for her Christmas party. It was fun primarily because the FILF made an appearance, but I have to be honest. He has become a beautiful letdown.. LITERALLY. Beside the fact that he is probably a size ZERO (so annoying), the one interaction we had, showcased his inability to carry on the simplest conversation.. Yes, kiddies, he is NOT the brains in his relationship. Pure eye candy. While in most cases, this would be beyond kewl, I need a little meat. (heavy sigh) The best part of the evening was Frank (aka bro in law) played Nikolas.. (Santa..) and Jiji recognized him right off the bat and came to me in a hushed voice and said, "Papa is SANTA!"

Fast forward a week, and I found myself at a HOT tot party in bay view, Jiji's boy toy was turning 3 and it was the place to be. We showed up just in time to chow down and get perfect spots to watch the rest of the guests arrive. Aside from a lil spanish boy who was hot for the Mooster (mad wicked props Phillipin) Sean Penn was there. OK, It wasn't him EXACTLY.. It was just his TWIN. His wife seems to be a bit anal and keeps him on a tight leash.. so, I could not bestow any charm on him.. (booo) I did snap this pic while they were doing the Pinata'.
Shut up.. You know it looks just like him.. Of course I mean Milk Sean, Not Dead Man Walking, Sean. Oh well, I think the wife sniffed some love vibe or something, because they darted outta that party as quick as can be.. BOO! Oh yeah, Kristen.. (ahem) Poster?

Yes, Jiji.. there is a Santa Claus!

Happy MO FO Christmas you A$$hole

While at the Pruneyard, an SOB pulled into a parking spot that I was clearly waiting for. When I LOUDLY protested, he ignored me. I continued to ask him if he realized what a MO FO A$$hole he was.. and then I realized.. hey, didn't one of those Driver's Ed slides talk about being the better person? not letting stupid mo fo a$$holes get you all angry? I have a feeling his evening was in the shitter anyway.. He deserves being shit on.. I let it go, and I found another space. SERENITY NOW!

P.S. Not all drivers are as nice as I am. Is it really the best idea to leave your fab car with someone you just F'ed over? food for thought

People suck! Nice people swallow!

Yesterday, I had to sit in front of this damn computer for what seemed like an eternity. Several months ago, some damn pig gave me a ticket for speeding. I ignored the situation until the BITTER end. My deadline was 12-12 to complete the drivers education class, or I would get points on my record. GRRR.. In my head, I am thinking.. an online class!! ?? How hard could it be?
It wasn't hard, it was painful. They figured out a way to make you read every slide .. or at least stare at it for a minute or two until you can advance to the next horrible slide. It took hours and hours.. UGH .. The worst part, by far, was that I found out that the county I live in encourages you to run over small animals.

WTF?

My small animals (mo, pepps and Chino) are worth more to me then most people!!! If any sun of a bitch didn't swerve to avoid hitting them, they would get the wrath of the moose.
Does Governor Arnold know this? I do not want my tax dollars spent on dispensing this evil philosophy. I couldn't believe it.. No way could ANYONE support this..But then, on the ride to work this morning, as I was careful to leave a 3 second cushion between the car in front of me and my car.. and I allowed tailgaters to pass.. and I signaled and did all kinds of new stuff I didn't know about, my commuter Lisa said she WOULD swerve to avoid hitting a small animal, but to prevent damage to her car? WHAT? People totally suck. completely and totally.

Come to mama....

Dog's Rule!

Todays obsession...

Better then a unibrow, I spose

I decided to bite the bullet and go get my brows tended to by a professional.. I went on Friday with my new best-ey, Trecia. I was tired off all the peeps at work pointing and laughing at my attempts to tame the bush.


My biggest concern was being tagged Uncle Leo..That kinda nickname would be impossible to shake. Come on.. You know the episode.. Uncle Leo's brows get burnt off and Elaine draws them in all wonky. Everyone assumes he is pissed because his brows are arched in a weird way???
"Calm down Uncle Leo"

Sitting here looking at my mug in the mirror, I do look a little goofy... The worst part of the experience was the chick that did them had a whole lot to say... Here is what I remember:

"People think doing brows is easy. "

"Oh, Gawd. you really messed them up.. What were you thinking?"

"You don't need brow tattoo - you hairy girl.."

"Next time you come, they look beautiful. This time, they look OK, but next time they look beautiful."

"I do lip for you no charge" :(

Seriously, what kind of a friend am I?

I am a moron. One of my dearest friends celebrated her birthday and I forgot to wish her the best. Tania, my beautiful friend, I shall make it up to you... PROMISE. xo

Horrified.

I am completely Horrified.

In my head, the animals that I eat come from the chicken patch.. and the beef tree.. and so on. I cannot imagine that a poor animal is brutally being killed for me. I know I am insane.. I know that I am completely delusional and paint pretty pictures to avoid things.. BUT I cannot believe this "woman" chose this back drop for her interview..in the background a poor bird is being SLAUGHTERED and she calmly drinks her coffee.. and laughs.

Sarah Palin is a Horrible excuse for a human being.

I feel naughty....

(gulp) isn't he sexy?

My ultra fab friends in Brazil got Hours and hours of behind the scenes clips of Jet in Studio....... And I watched every MINUTE of it!!!

....................but in my defense, I was in a bad place.. a really bad place. I haven't gotten any love from Jet in so long. When you live and breathe something,.. and then it goes away, you can be devastated. I was devastated. (and don't judge me.. being passionate about something is what life is all about, right?)

And Nic.. Lover, Dean Martin is so hip.. I love you more now then ever!! (and I'll try and get into the red wine, ok?)

Nic?

I miss you.. I love you.. I need to see you soon.
I think you are being a little bit selfish.. I NEED to see you.. I can't take this absence much longer.. You are the SIN I am the sinner.. blah blah blah
Please.. I mean, I am only human,, I need to see you. Please..

Happy 3rd Birthday my darling!

no on H8

Village People 2008 try outs

Seeking construction worker, sailor and indian.
Apply ASAP.

Damn FILF

On Saturday night, my darling niece Jiji, invited me to her preschools lantern parade..

It has something to do with St Martin cutting his cloak for a homeless guy .. To be honest, I really wasn't listening to my brother in laws lengthy explanation.. I had major attention issues!!This FILF had the nerve to be all sexy and alluring at a preschool function! The nerve. Doesn't he realize old married ladies are in heat and the mere glimpse of him gets certain things a'flowin?

OK, Mia's dad, you are beyond hot.. The fact that we all got caught in the rain and your hair got all sleek and sexy.. BRAVO.. Can you ditch the dentist wife and do a little procreating with me? PUHLEASE? or should I say... BITTE!

Pet Parade photos.....

Check out the whole show at Farley's in San Francisco... Now through December 2nd.

Barney ain't happy that he's heading back to Crawford!

Can't blame him! The Party is OVA!

That's President Obama, bitch!

The proof that before Trecia showed up, I actually had it going on!

Yeah, thats me. I have just a little more invested in the sport, Trecia. I can share with the fellows a sense of understanding that you never ever can. I am soccer Trecia. So, there.

Me and Brian Ching (ala' 16 candles)

Quakes actually won!

But the excitement of the win was snuffed out because it happened again. Trecia accompanied me to the last Quakes game of the season and she was the Belle of the Mother F'ing ball. AGAIN! Random players were complimenting her.. Other players were remembering her wide ass smile from 2 weeks ago..And yet other normal people couldn't take their eyes off the junk she apparently has in her trunk... HMPH. All I got was a glare from a stupid Toronto FC player because I asked for Marshall's digits.. WHATEVER Guavera.

Here are the pics.. (No surprise they feature, you guessed it, TRECIA)

Trecia and Darren Huckerby
Trecia and Shea Salinas
Trecia and Ryan Johnson
Trecia and Frank Yallop
I
Mental note: don't invite her next year. Takes spotlight off my specialness.

Happy Anniversary, Vic!

6 years............and counting

Giddy-up lil Ji-Ji

Mocha was a hit at the Halloween Parade!

Obama!

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

Need Nic fix!

He is so (gulp) sexy ..
~I want a taste~

I luff him.

One of ****THE**** sexiest damn men out there (a VERY close 2nd to Mr Nic Cester)

LOVE Cho..

Seriously...

Preki is kind of a big deal in soccer circles.. He not only was a STAR player, but he is now the head coach of Chivas. So, to top off the fact that my date, Trecia was intoxicatingly charming.. and wowing the soccer elite.. The one picture I am in, with the soccer GOD Preki, I look like a fricken monster.. What is happeining to me? I mean really... His expression says it all.. Like, uh.. take that damn picture will you.. I am afraid she might bite... (sniff sniff.. I AM NOT A MONSTER!)
note: my mo fo patches are on the same side.. because I am a tard.. His are placed correctly.

Damn Chivas

I have gone to pretty much EVERY Quakes game since the 1996 inaugural season.. I have traveled to away games via car plane and bus.. and even was the fan of the month the one and only time they held the competition..

Trecia goes to one mother F'ing game.. And makes more friends and has more fun then I ever have!!! hmph...

Olberman IS A GOD!

Hahaha

AND...

OMFG.. Amazing Nic dream. It was a long ass dream.. but all I can remember about it was I was at a meet and greet at a Jet concert.. and I hugged Nic and he wouldn't let me go.. He took real deep breaths by my ear.. I think he was getting all hot because of my new perfume.. Amber Seduction.
Note to self, wear Amber Seduction at next Jet Show.

On a lighter note...

I nearly peed my pants while I was watching the pre-game warm up. I noticed this lil beaut on the field. I immediately scanned the crowd for Gwynn and the kids, cuz this dude is a dead ringer for Gavin.. I have decided, he shall be my new eye candy. He is an Italian born in South Africa. Isn't that sexy? (and I think the lil monkey was spying me a few times.. He wants a lil Moosey love, too.. can't blame him.. have you seen me?)

referee, Paul Ward.. You suck.

On paper, the Quakes did lose.. But I was there, and in their defense it had more to do with the SHITTY refs, then it did with the other team being better. In soccer, the best ref is one that can have control, but be invisible. The players know where the lines are and don't cross them. Last nights game was a disaster. Bad call after bad call. Trust me, I would be the first to admit when they were playing bad.. but they weren't.. and it just pisses me off when the ref effects the outcome of the game. Two specific issues.. He called a Quakes goal back because our player was supposedly off sides... And then he called a foul on a Quakes player that resulted in a goal for the other team.. I don't know, reading the reviews of the game make me even madder. They claim the solid steel defense of the Quakes has turned to tin foil.. F them.

Right ON!

We all need a lil inspiration about now...

Love Eric

I continue to have this inner struggle about why I find the need to act like a teenage girl. There are quite a few of my friends that have fun with my weird obsessions especially the one with Joe Jonas. I have been referred to as a cougar and now a chicken hawk. Hm. I wonder why I have to grow up. In this f'ed up world we live in, what is wrong with getting a little juicy in my box for a 19 year old? hmph. I would think that is VERY Healthy... and open. No?
Tonight I was finally able to see the finale of a little show called I can't believe I am Still Single on Showtime. AMAZING show. Sad that I will not be able to be with Eric any more.. I got REALLY sad.. SO sad, that I checked out his MYSpace page. And I am delighted to inform you (in my silly little teenage way) we are now friends. I love him and you need to, too.

Absurd (vent fest)

I am not usually surprised by people. I have been on this earth for many years and have learned a thing or two..
Today, a "friend" caught me completely off guard. My mouth, usually filled with laughter, was speechless and wide open.
The details of my friendship with this person are unimportant, really. The person was funny and kinda twisted (but in a god way).. But I think in my head I was giving this person FAR too much credit. FAR.. WAY .. WAY too much credit .. I thought they had a good heart and would stay true till whatever end we all faced. I thought I was done with the petty shit that seemed to be all around me in HIGH SCHOOL. GRR.. I am a woman who deserves a certain level of respect and you know, X-friend of mine.. You were lucky to have the opportunity to have been in the inner circle. The space won't be hard to fill.. you mostly filled it with hot air and what I now see as rude ass fake-ness.
I bid adieu to the friend I knew and loved. The new "improved" version is someone I don't care to know.

off to kuwait....

Be safe bro.. Love you loads. xoxoxoxox

My sweet girl

Tina Rocks!

For Tree Boo