um.. hello?

So, I was sitting here watching a rather memorable Seinfeld .. Waiting for the new Chris Rock show to come on.. (I am a slave to T.V., you know.. ) and my phone rang. The display read..."STARBUCKS"... Oh great! In a split second, I need to decide whether or not to pick up the phone. I need to decide if I should face the humiliation and find out the plumbers findings. As the young chipee introduced herself.. (I think her name was Kelly or Morgan or some stupid thing) she recounted my horrific experience, as if I would forget my ordeal... "Hi, this is "insert stupid name here" .. Um.. well, I am a worker at Stabucks .. the one on Almaden and Curtner. Yesterday you were here and you flushed your keys down the toilet.. well, er.. anyways.. the plumber was here today.. fer sure.. and he got your keys.. so, we are open until 11:00.. can you come by and get them?"
Ok why the urgency? Are they coated in a film of sludge? Are they smellin up the place? I have to wonder, do I really want these keys back? I mean they have been where no man should go.. (except a well paid custodial artist).. Anyways, The Morgan kelly person was waiting for a response.. and I told her I would be by tomorrow.. She mentioned she would put them in the safe.. and the barista on duty (wait, what? The Barista on duty???) could get them out for me.. I think I will have a sleepless night! What if I am expected to pay for this plumber? Should I change my name and move to Mexico? (Damn I knew I should have paid attention is espanol)I fear I will be the target of constant ridicule if I stay here.. "Hey there is key poo girl.." woe is me.. wait, it is 7:55.. gots to go watch the CR show. Peace out! Decision will come soon..

Any thoughts on my new name... Juanita Cruz Muy Bonito ?? Catchey, eh?