Who cares about rewinding... Be kind, FLUSH!

Wednesday game days are always interesting. I cant really head home, because the dogs freak out and I don’t like leaving them once I am home. (there little faces are so sad...) So I leisurely headed to the game from work.. I had PLENTY of time. I stopped at Rotten Robbie and filled up the elephant, got a ceaser salad from JITB and my final stop was Starbucks to get my 4th Café Americano of the day. I found a sweet spot in the front of the lot and proceeded to go inside. The line was kinda long, so I decided to take a pit stop before I ordered. I went inside the ladies room and secured myself into one of the stalls .. As I examined my surroundings, I discovered its previous occupant left a small calling card.. The water in the bowl had a scary yellow tint.. Normally, I would leave and select another stall but I was feeling especially good hearted. I would be a good citizen and deal with the dregs of bathroom society.. the peeps that don’t have good manners.. I WOULD FLUSH! I placed my keys on the back of the tank... flushed the toilet .. and proceeded to remove my pants.. to my horror, the toilet was turbo powered and the tank began to rattle. The movement of the tank caused my keys to lunge forward and they were catapulted into the bowl. I watched in disbelief as my keys went DOWN THE TOILET. It seemed to happen in slow motion.. Kinda like when buck wheat got shot on SNL.. I heard myself say OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOO!
My delicate hand shot into the bowl.. a bowl that has probably seen a million nasty asses.. and I jammed it as far down the pipe as it would go. NO KEYS. I froze.. what was I going to do? How was I going to get to my quakes game?? How was I going to get into the Alves Fortress? I go to the counter and after the guy stops laughing .. he gets the manager who tells me she will call a plumber.. A PLUMBER?? Go get my mo fo keys!!! Damn. Damn. Damn. Well....... needless to say, my brother did come get me.. I was able to convince Ms Alves I did actually live next door and she let me in.. I got the spare key and got to the game on time. Shew.
The Quakes won by the way. I guess I took one for the team. My shitty experience allowed them to win.. Karma, right?