Oh, its on now beyotch.

Vic and MIL circa 1970

So, I put up with a whole lot. My mother in law has basically decided, as I have told you before dear reader, that I am not good enough for her only son. She has taken it upon herself to step in where I have fallen short (In her opinion, mind you). She cleans.. She cooks.. (this of course is a judgment call.. I believe there isn't much cooking when it comes to fish sticks.. but I digress...) she monitors my coming and goings.. and generally rules the roost.. The Alves fortress (aka prison) .. On Saturday, I happen to be out in the garage.. (no cars actually occupy this building but the people from the city had to make this distinction to old mother alves so she doesn't rent it out to some poor shlub ) As I was saying, I was in the "garage" doing the wash.. well, my wash.. because Victor claims I don't do it correctly.. (Although I spied on his black shirt a mess of powdery residue after Queen mom did his wash.. HAA HAA!) after I changed the wet clothes into that big spinny machine that dries the wet ones.. MIL came at me and asked if she could ask me a question.. I said sure, I was in a particularly good mood as it was soccer Saturday.. she led me to the garbage can and pointed inside .. and asked in her broken English..."you .. put.. inside?" I peered down into the can and saw what appeared to be doggie poo.. I said, no.. (first I get yelled at for not picking shit up in a timely manner.. now she is yelling at me for picking it up.. can i win with this woman??) In my defense, the doggies go #2 way on the other side of the yard.. not by this particular can.. If I dont flush the "poo" down la toilet' .. then it goes in the can next to the side of the house that the "poo" is near.. I am not trotting around the yard with "poo" in my hand looking for a place to stash the "poo" ...(Although if I knew how much it annoyed her I would have) After I said, no... She looked at me with her creepy eyes.. one eyebrow POINTED UPWARDS.. and said.."WELL, IT GOT THERE SOMEHOW.."I was boiling, this beyotch was accusing me of lying to her.. I looked right at her and said.. "OK.. I didnt put the "poo" in the can.. but isn't that the place it is suppose to go?" and walked away.. I went into Victor.. and explained what had happened.. he of course took his mothers side.. and my soccer Saturday was ruined.. (Of course the boys in blue kicked Galaxies arse...3-1 but still!!!)

I HATE MY MIL!

You can turn Vic against me, but don't be calling me a liar and expect to get away with it.. I ain't one of your spineless kids who take your word as gospel.. You met your match lady! Its on!