Silly Billy Jilly

Yes.. I am a 'TARD

Ever since little Jillian was born, it has become my routine to drive up to the city to visit my sis and see little Jilly. I can't imagine not seeing the little peanut.. Even after 1 week, so many changes have occured.. I can't imagine if it were longer.
This very weekend, me and little Brendan journeyed up to see the babe.. and had lunch at a family favorite, Fresh Choice. As we were sitting there, enjoying our table full of grub, out of the corner of my eye, I spied an interesting scene. A hip "Nic Cester" type was eating solo .. while reading a novel that I owned.. (The Devil Wears Prada).. I thought the whole sight was a little funny. .His many interesting meal time activities became the topic of our conversation . I decided that I would snap his photo, to share with you, dear reader.. We planned the picture perfectly, as My sister and the baby posed ...he was turning the corner.. What do you think, dear reader? Is he a cutie patootie, or what?

Reader .. meet Charles

I inherited him from my grandmother when she passed. This was her prized possession and I am delighted to have him. He was given to my grandmother by my late grandfather. Charles LOVED my grandmother.. He doesn't really have the spark he once did .. and he seems to only tolerate me. I have made it my mission to give this 15 year old guy the best possible life imaginable. I traded in his shanty of a cage for a mansion. Every bird toy made is in this cage. From a wee abicus to the pink perch pictured. .. I even went as far as to cut out a picture of another bird from one of the toy packages.. I wanted Charles to have a friend.

Many of the toys promised a natural remedy to over grown beaks... See, a bird's beak is kinda sorta like a finger nail.. without proper use and or grooming.. it would grow and grow. I took Charles to the doctor the 1st day I got him .. and they trimmed his little beak WAY down.. I figured he was a healthy old bird.. Fast forward 4 weeks.. and I noticed that the beak again had grown far too long and was impeading his ability to eat. I freaked, of course.. and made an emergency appointment at the vet. I squawked at the 52.00 exam fee.. but soon realized that I was lucky to get any doctor in the office the Friday before Memorial day. I brought old Charles in and as soon as the vet layed eyes on him, she said he wasn't right. He was lathargic and thin.. and she plucked him out of the cage. After peering into his mouth, she reported that he had a ferocious infection.. She said it was probably Claymidia.. wait, what? How did MY bird.. dear old Charlie get an STD? I mean he is nice looking and a bit of a flirt.. but he isn't a playa! Apparently, in birds.. this is a viral disease that isn't transmitted via sex .. I was relieved.. how would I explain this one!
He has had a battery of tests.. and is now on MEDS..$170- later .. ...
Say a prayer, dear reader, for lil Charlie..

Have you fallen? and can't get up?

That would be the only reason I can imagine that YOU would not honor me on my BIRTHDAY!

Today is May 25th. If I have not received a birthday gift from you yet, you are officially a loser. Seriously! I sent out memos .. reminder cards.. save the date magnets... What is your excuse? It certainly cant be that you forgot!
After much thought, I have decided that the reason for your horrifically long delay is because you cant decide what to get me.. Never fear, dear friend.. here is a list.. I know that money isn’t an object.. so, feel free to get a couple of the items listed below.. No need to wrap.. just send ASAP..

A 2 (wo)man inflatable kayak. Preferably a Coleman

Provence perfume by Clean

A Jonathan Auton filter for my shower filtration system (sephora)

A few shares of Starbucks stock

Pink dog cowboy hat from Gussied Up Dog Boutique (for Chino)

A Team Denise XL t-shirt from www.shopkitson.com

Naked DVD starring David Thewlis

AS SEEN ON TV doggie steps for Chino to get on the bed

A case of Kretschmer honey crunch wheat germ

The Earthquakes franchise

4 new Michelin tires for my mom’s jeep

2 tickets to a Galaxy / Dynamo game plus a gas card with enough cash to get me down to LA and back


That’s a good starter list.. Don’t you think? I will ponder it a bit more and add if necessary.. Get cracken folks! If more time elapses, you are not only a loser.. but the value of the gift MUST increase! I am thinking of you!! Peace OUT!

Does anyone know if the bag factory is hiring?

Today, my little Vic became a Top Gun.. An officer AND a gentleman, if you will.. He strapped himself into a Navy JET.... He flew mock G or faster then the speed of sound or something.... over the Monterey Bay.. My little Vic got a little sick during the dog fight.. So, he unfortunately got killed.. I don't think he will be called up to duty anytime soon..
Although I can TOTALLY see us in a remake of AOAAG.. "lift me up where we belong.. where the eagles fly.. on mountain high.. "

un mas bebe photo..

You want happy ending, I do for you!

Tonight, I went to my "salon" to get a cut and color and I think I might have either been touched in a naughty place, or I might now be dating the shampoo boy. It really could go either way.
Before I sit down with my stylist, Mylan... her assistant, Shannon (A man, baby!!!) takes me over to the basins to wash my frock...Things were going well... We exchange pleasantries and he begins the process...
First he wets my hair.. and then squeezes some shampoo into the palm of his hands.. He starts rubbing the shampoo into my hair and then all of a sudden his touch changes.. He starts massaging my temples..I close my eyes.. He then slowly.. rythmically, moves back to the crown of my head.. . I can feel the sensations in the tips of my toes.. up and down.. back and forth..this goes on for literally 15 minutes.. He rinses.. and then repeats this with the conditioner.. My eyes have rolled back into the bowels of my brain... Magic fingers man is a GOD.. when he is done, I giggle with a teenage angst.. I feel a little dirty.. tee hee.

I couldn't make this crap up!

So, as you may remember.. I had a bit of a romance brewing at Starbucks. (as much of a romance as a married ol' lady can have) Almost every morning, I would exchange a smile with this fetching young fellow as I splenda'd my Americano.. and he creamed his house blend. Because I was away from work for so long, the romance chilled out.. I hadn't seen "house blend" for sometime...

All that changed this morning..I was sitting at the light on Trimble... All of a sudden, I noticed that my darling "house brew" was directly behind me in his Mazda Convertible.. I got a little excited.. and felt a little tingley.. Days usually turn out pretty cool after our "encouters".. I patiently waited for the light to change, so I could flip a bitch and high tail it into the Bucks .. It took an eternity, but as soon as I made it to the lot, I hopped out of the car and didn't even look his way..When it was my turn, I happily ordered my Americano.. and stepped to the side to await my beverage .. After a few moments, I coyly scanned the crowd .. and couldn't find him.. Where could he be? hiding behind the display.. that little devil!!! Just then, someone came right in my line of vision.. For some reason, I looked them square in the face.. to my horror.. My dude.. MY "house brew" looked like a lady! I admit I threw up a little... and felt a little woosy! I was able to regain my composure.. and I shuffled out of there as soon as my name was called.. "House brew" apparently spent the month or so we were apart getting reassignment surgery!!!there he (she) was.. in a skirt.. sandals with his big ass man feet hanging out the back..his big hairy toes had a french manicure.. a MO FO butterfly clip in his once sexy tausled hair.. AND a kerchief strategically tied over his Adams apple.. ugh ..

Mental note: If I see "house brew" again, ask where he got the killer pedi on monster feet

Quit your whining!

OK..OK.. I caved.. Dear reader, I do care.. and I do listen.. I was a wee bit afraid of any comments you might leave about my life, that I banned comments.. Now it is open season, dear reader.. g'head!

Say it ain't so!

Please realize that I say this with a heavy heart.. and know that I truly do love this man.... body and soul.. But, at this point.. a good 1 hour into this movie, I do believe my darling Ralph Fiennes, has JUMPED THE SHARK.. For those that are not in the know.....

Jumping the shark is a metaphor that has been used by US TV critics and fans since the 1990s to denote the tipping point at which a TV series is deemed to have passed its peak. Once a show has "jumped the shark," fans sense a noticeable decline in quality or feel the show has undergone too many changes to retain its original charm.
The phrase was popularized by Jon Hein on his website, jumptheshark.com. It alludes to a scene in the TV series, Happy Days, when the popular character, Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli, on water skis, literally jumps over a shark.

I will go watchthe end of this "film" and report back my findings.. I pray, dear God, it turns around!

Mental note: The WHite Countess is NO Constant Gardner..

Jillan K Calendars Avail soon!

OOh La La!

de bebe iz de cutes' bebe in ze wurld, no? Ze bebe cood eazalee bee on ze French Riviera sipeeng Ze Cappachino wit ze jet set! Se Manifique!

I totally freaked out... AGAIN!

So, I was looking at google to find more info on the ultra fab Gavin Belfour.. and when I searched for him.. I got a link the chronicles.. Totally freaked me out!! Who knew I was on search engines?!?!? I have arrived!

Seek and ye shall find...

I am a freak about things.. (no, really).. Lately, I have been noticing this totally hot guy in a bunch of different commercials.. First Napster.. then Verizon.. and now some weird HP hedge movie.. I SCOURED the internet and found out who this tasty little morsel was..

Meet Mr Gavin Belfour..

Kinda sorta looks like Mr Nic Cester, huh? I guess this is my type.. wonder where Vic fits into it.. hmmm.. ANYWAYS! I think I should become a detective or something.. or a bounty hunter.. Like Dawg.. I already have the lingo down, all right bragh!

I can be cheap when I need to be!

I have a feeling that SOME people believe that I am too free spending with MY money.. To some, 26.00 is a bit too expensive to spend on a tube of lipstick .. NOT ME!!! (HELLO it's Chanel)
I do, however, try and save money where I can.. Case in point.. we went to the SF Zoo to celebrate my mothers birthday.. Me, Ma, Jill and Shan.. Here was the perfect opportunity for me to save some $$$ .. instead of spending 12.99 on a fab headband for the kid.. I snuck it on her head and snapped a photo.. cha ching.. 12.99 SAVED.. Way vute,huh?

Irish Eyes are smilin'

I think Jillian is becoming too HOLLYWOOD!

No Photos..PLEASE!

Fab Bebe